• 2018.08.16
• Present: Alex, Carlos, Chris, Corey
• Party:
  • 🎸 Pankas, Wood Half-Elf Bard of Whispers
  • 🛠 Dug, Dwarf Cleric of the Forge of the Silver Flame
  • 🛡 Tumutch, Human Pallock of the Forge of the Silver Flame
  • 🦆 Ducky, Gnome Wizard

tl;dr: The gang infiltrates the secret hideout of the Harpers, rescues The Minstrel, and recovers some powerful artifacts.

1. To the Lodge
2. Stakeout
3. Entry
4. Infiltration
5. Rescue!
6. Vault

The scene opens on our heroes in Glass Staff's chambers. Pankas is trying to rally the troops to go do a heist on the spooky old hunting lodge in the woods.

Pankas: Listen, we pretty much basically need to go do this heist.

Tumutch: Yes. I want revenge on that house. It's probably full of necromancers. Also it shocked me and knocked me down and I hate it.

Dug: So we're gonna go Heist The House That Hurt You?

Tumutch and Pankas (in unison, high fiving each other): Yes!

It doesn't take much more to convince everybody. Everybody except for Yarno, who's like, Nope. I agreed to go to the Rave Echo Caves with you. To kill Spiderman. So I can be free of his tyranny. I'm not going on any side quests with you.

Tumutch, establishing his feisty and combative attitude for the remainder of this adventure, turns on Yarno and accuses him, "Well what are you even good for?"

Yarno, who has provided shelter, fire power, insight, potions for the group--after being speared through the shoulder by Tumutch, mind you--is flabbergasted and kicks everybody out.

Pankas already had made plans to meet one of his minions, Carl Johnson aka Carl Junior, by the spooky old lodge during the next full moon, which happens to be right now, so everybody stomps on through town, north, into the woods.

Along the way, somebody is observant and insightful enough to wonder where Fisty is. A quick head count and assessment reveals that, yep, that slippery tiefling has snuck away again.

The group collectively shrugs and contuinues on their way. "I hope he doesn't have to murder any of our friends when he comes back this time!"

The reserve approaches a clearing, and they hear a bird call off in the thicket. A bird call that sounds suspiciously like somebody giving a covert sign or greeting.

Everybody immediately starts making bird calls, hoots, and caw-caws back in answer, and Carl Johnson emerges from hiding and shushes them and rolls his eyes, and that's pretty much the dynamic of his relationship with the group.

The group starts a stakeout on the lodge, and they question CJ about what he knows about it and the group that seems to gather there each full moon.

Tumutch: They've obviously a cult and we must kill them all!

Carl Johnson: That is both leaping to conclusions and also rather extreme. We don't know that they're a cult..

Tumutch: Look at this checklist!

Cult Checklist (Official)

* ✅ cloaks

* ✅ secretive

* ✅ meet at night/during full moon

* ✅ magic

Carl Johnson: That doesn't look very official. And we don't know that they have magic stuff.

Tumutch: Cuuuuuult

Carl Johnson: But..

Tumutch: Smiiiiiiiite

So Tumutch is hell bent on smiting the holy heck outta these presumed cultists and CJ has several "Where'd you get these guys, Boss?" moments.

In the meantime, some hooded figures, cloaked in darkness, approach the house. There are a series of bird calls as the figures signal to each other. (Carl Johnson nods appreciatively, and looks at the Reserve disapprovingly as though to say, See? That's how you're supposed to do that.) The figures approach the force field, and another figure emerges from the shadows near the house and approaches the field from the inside. Both parties reach into their robes and pull out identical amulets, each in the shape of a small metal harp. When they are presented to each other, they begin to resonate and emit a small series of notes, as though plucked on an actual harp. Once the final note fades away, the figures tuck the amulets back inside their robes, an opening appears in the field, and they walk through it and on into the house.

The team watches all this transpire, and then they concoct a most brilliant plan to infiltrate the lodge.

All: We're basically going to make it up as we go.

Carl Johnson: You're going to get us all killed.

Ducky magically disguises herself as one of the hooded figures and creates an illusory trinket resembling the necklace for herself, Dug, and Tumutch.

Pankas practices the series of notes that came from the necklaces on his lute. Then takes Carl Johnson's cloak and rolls it around in the mud and dirt so that it also looks black like the hooded figures' robes. And finally casts invisibility on himself.

Dug and Tumutch just wrap themselves up in their cloaks and disguise themselves as Dug and Tumutch, respectively.

Carl Johnson: So we're going to just walk in? This is the worst idea ever.

Tumutch: Do you have a better idea?

CJ: Yes, in fact! I was going to wait until they started to leave and capture one of them, taking their robes and their necklace, and then maybe scouting--

Tumutch: Terrible idea. Okay, here we go!

Ducky, disguised as a cultist, and Tumutch and Dug, passing as her escorts, all approach the watch cultist. Ducky holds her necklace out and Pankas plays the harp's notes. The watchman holds his out and nothing happens, and he chews on his pipe nervously.

Awkwardness ensues.

Watchman: Who are you?

Ducky: Good sir, we are but weary travelers, strangers here, wh-

Dug: I'm Dug Hammerhound!

Watchman: Um..

Dug: Sounds like something's wrong with your amulet.

Watchman: Um..

And then the reserve basically just confuses and confounds the poor guy until he gives up and lets them in. Exactly as planned.

The team enters the lodge and fans out to search the area. Ducky finds a trapdoor in the kitchen under the table. She and Dug go down and encounter another watchman who allows Ducky (and, unknowingly, the invisible Pankas) to proceed, but refuses to let Dug pass because he's a little bit racist against against dwarfs.

So Dug leaves to go catch up with Tumutch.

Tumutch, while all this is going on, has heard some noises and some shuffling coming from upstairs and has gone up to investigate.

He gets upstairs and sees a big ole dude all suited up in armor. It's Darin Ettermath, the tree farmer, from the orchard at the back entrance to the Chesendar caves, who sent the gang off to clear out the necromancy by the old owl well! (A sidequest that the hang has so far completely ignored.)

Tumutch and Darin slowly warm up to each other and share a drink.

Darin shares that the Harpers have stolen a powerful artifact. An artifact that belongs to his organization, the Order of the Guantlet. (Geez, how many secret organizations/gangs are there in this town?) The Harpers are holding it ransom for the moment but said they will give it back to him. And so here he is.

Suddenly, Dug arrives and things tense up again for a minute. Darin is really on edge!

Darin: Wait, are you all here?

But then things calm back down and everybody agrees to help each other out and watch each others' backs. Reluctantly, for some. Darin has "seen some shit in the war" and is not excited about violence or having to hurt people. He's just trying to put all that behind him and just live a normal, peaceful life, you know? He doesn't want any trouble. He's not that guy any more. He's just a tree farmer.

Meanwhile!

Ducky and Invisible Pankas and Carl Johnson are sneaking through the labyrinthine underbelly of the lodge. The passage winds this way and that. Locked doors block their way, but they are quickly handled by Carl "Door Whisperer" Johnson and his lockpicks.

The eventually get to the end of the passage and hear two voices from behind a door.

Voice 1: Well we can't just let him go! I think we have to kill him.

Voice 2: I think you're right. Also, we can't just return this object! It's too powerful. I think we have to keep it.

Voice 1: So, just to be clear. We're talking about killing and stealing here.

Voice 2: Look, I don't like it either!

Ducky (aside): Killing and stealing! These are definitely bad guys.

Ducky gets out her sending stone and messages Dug and asks for some backup down in the basement.

Meanwhile!

Dug and Tumutch and Darin decide to go storm the basement and catch up with the rest of the team.

The go down the stairs, through the main hall, into the kitchen, and Doorbane thaumatergies the crap out of the secret trapdoor down into the basement--this is no time for subtlety!--and Tumutch flies through the hole at the racist guy down there standing guard, and flings a flying two-fingered prong of light right at his face and completely misses and he lands flat on the ground.

The guard is like, wtf? and he stabs Tumutch in the side.

Darin walks up behind the guard and, with a cold, dead look in his eyes, hits him hard twice and kills the guy dead. Darin blinks his eyes and comes to his senses, and is immediately remorseful, "Oh no. What have I done? I swore I'd never kill again!"

Dug and Tumutch are like, "Well, you did. You killed that guy and you can't change that, Darin the Killer. Let's go."

Darin the Killer is clearly troubled by the resurfacing of his troubled past and at the ease with which he slips back into his old patterns. Shocked and mute, he follows.

They race through the same winding, twisting passages that Ducky, Pankas, and CJ did earlier. But because Dug and Tumutch and Darin are all hulking, armored brutes, they set off all the booby traps that the tiny gnome, the stealthy rogue, and the sneaky bard tiptoed around. (They didn't find or disarm the traps. They and the traps were simply ignorant of each other.)

After they've been poisoned, spiked, etc. the Big Boys Crew starts to catch up to the Sneaky Boys Crew.

Meanwhile!

Ducky can hear the familiar clanky stomping of Dug, the profoundly over-burdened and heavily armored dwarf, coming down the hall.

The gang is all back together again!

Time for another half-baked, poorly thought out plan! It's been working so far!

Ducky, still dressed up like a Harper in hooded robes, just walks on in to the room to see what's going on.

The two figures are guarding the Red Tiefling, who is manacled to the wall, bound and gagged.

Pankas, still invisible, gets Carl Johnson's lockpicks and tries to unlock the manacles. Pankas has zero idea how to pick locks though and just makes some scratchy screechy noises, and everybody looks around confused.

The hooded figures are confused to see Cultist Ducky, but recover quickly and tell her she needs to dispose of Red Tiefling, a dangerous enemy spy working for the Zhentarum.

Ducky's like, Okay. Let me go get my killing sword. The one I use to kill Tieflings. Sword-killing is definitely something I know a lot about!

She goes back out into the hallway and gets a short sword from Dug. The shortest one he has. And tells everybody to get ready to attack on her signal.

Then she goes back in, gets ready to lop off the tiefling's head, but instead throws the sword to the ground and gives a battle cry like, "Steeeeeeel Reserrrve!"

Hooded Figure #1 is like, Crap! and he turns around and stabs Red Tiefling.

Dug and Tumutch come crashing through the door, swinging polearms and divine weapons, and smash the heck outta Hooded Figure #1, and then Ducky is like, Don't stab bound hostages! Bad form! What is wrong with you! and she peeks out from between Tumutch's legs and shatters the (maybe) cultist to pieces with Toll with the Dead.

Everybody turns on Hooded Figure #2, who's like, Gulp!

Pankas goes in for a grapple but misses. And he's like, "Do not kill this guy!"

Tumutch and Dug, Team Silver Flame Forge, are like, Gotcha. Not problem.

Hooded Figure turns and tries to stab Red Tiefling twice, but somehow misses each time.

Tumutch blasts him with silver slame, and then Dug kills him.

Pankas: wtf yall, I just said..

Tumutch and Dug: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ducky: Don't stab bound hostages! Ugh, seriously.

The team releases Red Tiefling, who's like, Boy am I glad to see you guys! Whoo boy.

Okay, so in the same room where Red was locked up, there's a huge, closed vault. It has four impressions in the vault door, as though you're meant to hold up something to the door to open it.

Ducky has two Harper amulets from the dead hooded figures. (She also finds a note but it's written in some kind of code.) Somebody else has a third amulet. Pankas runs back out to the entrance of the lodge and filches a fourth from the guard out there.

The gang holds up four amulets, one to each of the four grooves in the door, and it slides open.

In the vault is a massive chest.

Inside the chest is some truly epic booty:

• the Long Flute of Fire. Red's war flute. The size of a quarterstaff, a weapon fit for only the finest of bards. Pankas immediately snatches it up.
• the Lock Pick. a war hammer with magical properties pertaining to the opening and manipulation of doors. Doorbane immediately snatches it up.
• the Gauntlet of Light. a holy relic of righteous fire that glows brightly in the presence of undead. Tumutch immediately snatches it up.

Ducky looks at the corpses of the hooded figures, and at her friends as they loot the chest.

Ducky: So. Killing and stealing, huh?

All: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A false bottom in the chest reveals a ladder receding down in the shadowy depths below.

the end?