Come visit my lovely state of Wisconsin for a few minutes. It's a beautiful place. Great cheese. Go Packers.

Let me introduce our state's Governor, Tony Evers. That's him, over there ⟹, and he's as boring as he looks.

He's a Democrat, which was a relief when he won, because he defeated the Republican primordial ooze incumbent, Scott Walker. Being not-Walker was enough to get me to vote for him, same as being not-Trump was enough to make me vote for Joe Biden. Seems to happen every election — there's no Democrat to vote for, but always some Republican to vote against.

Evers, like Biden, is a glass of milk when you need a shot of whisky. He is devoid of ideas, and as exciting as butter, our state's leading export. His first and probably only term as Gov is winding down, and still the best thing to be said about him is that he's not Walker.

To be fair, there's not a lot he can do — our state tilts Democratic, but it's gerrymandered so Republicans always control the legislature. Republicans also own the state's Supreme Court, with a near-certain victory for the right-wing and/or corporations on any issue, so they always rush to bring complaints to the state Supreme Court, which always concurs.

That said, living here and reading the news every day, simply nothing comes to mind that I'd call an Evers accomplishment.

As soon as he won the election, the Republican legislature passed a bill stripping the Governor's office of key powers, and of course, the Republican lame-duck Governor quickly signed it. Evers quietly said this was a bad thing to do, and he was party to a lawsuit about it, which was promptly decided in the Republicans' favor by the Republicans' Supreme Court. Since then Evers has never mentioned it, and never made more than the slightest waves against anything the Republicans have done.

On every issue that arises, Evers is unfailingly polite. When Republicans accuse him of tyranny, Evers says nothing. He'll take a metaphorical punch in the face, drop to the dirt, welcome a few more punches to the head while he's down, and then he'll reach up and hope for a handshake. He never hits back, and there's never a whisper of outrage. Like almost all Democrats, he believes in "working across the aisle" even as he's repeatedly tripped and tricked.

Evers was among the last Democratic Governors to respond to COVID, when President Trump refused to do anything on the national level. He eventually issued a state-wide mask mandate, but Republicans took it to their Supreme Court and had it tossed on some made-up pretext.

After that, some advocates for common-sense suggested re-issuing the mandate under a different state-constitutional authority, which again would've clearly been legal. It would've come back before the state Supreme Court and doubtless been struck down again, but it would've at least bought some mask-mandated time. To that idea, Evers famously said, “We really don’t know if I have the authority to do that."

In the gerrymandered state legislature, nothing Evers proposes can possibly be passed, but he's always remained cordial about it. He vetoes most of the horrors that Republicans pass in the legislature, and that's nice, but as recently as a few days ago he held a press conference announcing his optimism about working with Republicans on several fronts in 2022.

I don't understand how any unblindfolded person can still foresee Republicans working with Democrats on any issue whatsoever. But Mr Nice Guy, our Governor Tony Evers, does.

For this year's re-election campaign, it looks like he'll be facing Rebecca Kleefisch, who's much younger than Evers, even further to the right than Walker, and an attractive woman, which doesn't hurt among Republican voters. I don't believe Evers can beat her. Being not-Kleefisch won't be enough, and he has nothing else going for him.

I don't want to vote for Evers again, but Kleefisch will probably pledge something so Nazi that I'll have to. That's what always happens. There'll be zero enthusiasm on the left or even in the center, though, so Democratic turnout will not be enough for Evers to win.

Seems every time I vote (D) it's only in hopes of keeping (R) from power. I'm not sure there's ever been an exception to the rule. Always it's a Democrat who's somewhat aware of the problems but lukewarm on the solutions, running against a Republican who's terrifying. When Democrats win, nothing much changes. When Republicans win, everything gets worse.

That's taken America further and further to the right, until now we're facing problems that threaten everything from an ordinary weather forecast to the future of democracy, and yet, here comes another election between a (D) who wants nothing much to change, and an (R) who promises to make everything even more awful.

There are exceptions, I've heard, like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Everywhere I've lived, though, for any office at the city level or higher, there's never been a Dem candidate who wanted anything to change beyond their name as the new incumbent. Always I'm voting against someone, almost never for. The few candidates I've voted for were only in primary elections (where they lost) or in futile gestures beyond the two-party duopoly.

Outside of the deep red South, Democrats would win almost any election in a landslide if they gave Americans someone to vote for. Instead we get only candidates as bland as a blank blackboard, running against whatever walking atrocity is on the Republican ticket. Someone with smarts and charisma, someone who wants to solve problems, always finds his/her most fierce opponent is not a Republican — it's the Democratic Party.

And so it goes. The Democrats will continue running candidates whose grandest hope is to do nothing, because that's the Democratic Party ideal. Republicans will continue running to blow everything up. When Dems win they'll continue doing nothing. When Republicans win they'll continue blowing stuff up.

And me, will I vote to re-elect Tony Evers as Governor of Wisconsin? Cripes, I want to say no, but probably, yeah.

12/31/2021