My name is Doug Holland, and I'm a fat balding old fart with chronic bad breath, precious few friends, barely the funds to hover a week from homelessness, a lot of disgusting habits, a wardrobe that's utterly unstylish, a routine that's very very routine, and a job that's menial, temporary and not worth mentioning. So now you know, I'm someone you're glad you never met, writing a diary you'll probably wish you weren't reading. Yes, the pleasure is all mine.

———
If you lose your way,
there's a cast of characters page.
———

Pathetic Life #1 — June 1994

[6/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#happy-birthday-to-me) [6/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#maggie) [6/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#my-deepest-darkest-secret) [6/4-5](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#six-movies-in-two-days) [6/6-9](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#clearly-someone-has-a-hot-plate) [6/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#spare-change) [6/11-13](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#physically-incapable) [6/14-16](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#a-gentleman-doesnt-discuss-such-things) [6/17-18](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#im-not-insulting-you) [6/19-20](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#whats-love-got-to-do-with-it) [6/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#lights-out-at-the-strand) [6/22-24](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#call-us-if-it-gets-worse) [6/25-27](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#im-not-going-anywhere-ever) [6/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#uvula-uvula-uvula) [6/29-30](../Pathetic Life/PL-01#thats-a-wrap)

Pathetic Life #2 — July 1994

[7/1-4](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#moms-visit) [7/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#arent-you-proud-to-be-an-american) [7/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#belching-and-scratching-my-nads) [7/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#no-words) [7/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#not-drunk-not-disorderly-just--lost) [7/9-10](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#looking-out-the-window-of-the-train) [7/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#you-have-to-put-yourself-out-there) [7/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#smells-like-san-francisco) [7/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#god-is-love-some-restrictions-may-apply) [7/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#jackie-chan-double-feature) [7/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#plans-for-the-weekend) [7/16-17](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#dont-make-me-go) [7/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#more-mumbles-and-less-maggie) [7/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#any-bolt-or-sprocket) [7/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#the-mumbling-man-and-me) [7/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#performance-review) [7/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#323-pounds-of-me) [7/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#sidewalk-pinball) [7/24-25](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#penelope) [7/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#late-night-justice) [7/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#return-to-sender) [7/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#zines-and-movies-are-all-i-got) [7/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#lunch-with-the-doomed) [7/30-31](../Pathetic Life/PL-02#a-day-without-pants)

Pathetic Life #3 — August 1994

[8/1-2](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#my-crappy-job-that-just-got-crappier) [8/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#almost-done) [8/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#good-thinking-boss) [8/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#pretend-youre-sam-donaldson) [8/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#this-is-not-a-paid-advertisement) [8/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#black-and-white-double-feature) [8/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#call-it-the-blues) [8/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#the-tenderloin-at-midnight) [8/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#letters-to-the-editor) [8/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#blender-the-secret-cat) [8/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#scary-women) [8/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#the-sincere-cafe) [8/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#oh-look-its-crocodiles-again) [8/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#you-never-write-you-never-call) [8/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#basically--jesus) [8/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#breakfast-lunch-and-dinner-with-mom) [8/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#trade-rooms) [8/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#mom-was-speechless-it-was-beautiful) [8/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#ok-mom-you-win-you-got-into-my-room) [8/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#a-long-brown-stripe-on-the-carpet) [8/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#just-a-smidgen-of-optimism) [8/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#maggie--mom) [8/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#surprise-party) [8/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#nothing-much-today) [8/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#no-more-water) [8/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#just-a-minute) [8/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#the-real-me) [8/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#pierced) [8/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#conversation-in-the-cafeteria) [8/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-03#incident-at-walgreens)

Pathetic Life #4 — September 1994

[9/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#139) [9/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#nobodys-shrink-or-guru) [9/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#you-folks-lost) [9/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#a-pretty-good-day-before-dust) [9/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#now-playing-at-the-strand) [9/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#on-the-8th-floor) [9/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#16-crumpets) [9/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#drunken-master) [9/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#me-and-norma-shearer) [9/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#please-adjust-your-fine-tuning) [9/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#youve-got-a-friend) [9/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#ignorant-assumptions) [9/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#location--181) [9/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#pina-colada-and-nachos) [9/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#money-diet) [9/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#they-gave-their-lives-for-their-country) [9/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#letter-from-san-francisco) [9/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#soul-cancer) [9/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#close-to-the-margins) [9/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#double-doublecross) [9/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#habit-not-hunger) [9/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#the-king-is-coming) [9/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#never-in-bluejeans) [9/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#leave-the-gun-take-the-cannoli) [9/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#more-human-than-human-is-our-motto) [9/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#survey-says) [9/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#on-the-nose) [9/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#is-ken-kesey-cuckoo) [9/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#a-fuse-burns-out) [9/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-04#my-busy-social-calendar)

Pathetic Life #5 — October 1994

[10/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#she-didnt-even-say-uh) [10/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#underwear-batteries-and-beans) [10/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#the-music-of-the-night) [10/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#very-very-frightening) [10/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#the-city-at-night) [10/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#slob-manifesto) [10/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#b-movie-star) [10/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#blue-angels-my-ass) [10/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#miserable-douchebag-part-19) [10/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#an-inappropriate-workplace-conversation) [10/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#singalong-with-kallie) [10/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#please-call-me) [10/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#the-babs-and-darla-edict) [10/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#the-opposite-of-catholic) [10/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#thats-what-freedom-is) [10/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#uh-oh-hes-ranting) [10/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#the-break-room) [10/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#good-morning-darla) [10/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#nothing-happened) [10/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#blush-and-eyeliner) [10/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#the-sign-on-the-door) [10/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#haight-street-scene-report) [10/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#the-end-table) [10/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#drug-deals-at-work) [10/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#wont-you-please-help) [10/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#not-in-the-mail) [10/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#bumbling-at-civic-center) [10/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#how-to-lose-friends-and-annoy-strangers) [10/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#slugged-a-guy) [10/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#inside-the-rainbow) [10/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-05#marijuana-lsd-and-tootsie-pops)

Pathetic Life #6 — November 1994

[11/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#last-train-of-the-night) [11/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#pulling-teeth) [11/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#kissing-myself) [11/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#tooth-trouble) [11/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#soggy-and-hurting) [11/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#codeine-and-doobie) [11/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#fuck-you-jim-harrison) [11/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#beers-with-beatrice) [11/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#counselor-troi) [11/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#a-friend) [11/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#if-there-are-layoffs) [11/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#loogie-unhocked) [11/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#whale-caroms) [11/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#carlotta-cries) [11/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#2-plastic-pinchy-picker-upper) [11/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#do-you-smell-smoke) [11/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#im-not-going-to-die-here) [11/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#no-longer-friends) [11/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#bum-vs-lady) [11/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#still-life-on-paper) [11/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#song-on-the-radio) [11/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#fever-started-long-ago) [11/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#taqueria-el-castillito) [11/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#thank-you-nobody) [11/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#a-new-innovation) [11/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#in-living-color) [11/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#unanswered-questions) [11/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#a-cockroach-in-captivity) [11/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#mrs-edwards-coffee-shop) [11/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-06#shush)

Pathetic Life #7 — December 1994

[12/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#the-movies-are-your-mistress) [12/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#witty-quips-lies-half-truths-and-more-lies-setups-put-downs-and-still-more-lies) [12/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#breakfast-at-tads) [12/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#dont-be-a-putz-like-george-bailey) [12/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#chains-on-my-ankles-again) [12/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#sawdust) [12/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#solidarity) [12/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#a-lot-of-us-lead-pathetic-lives) [12/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#no-kissing-please) [12/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#the-meaning-of-christmas) [12/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#joycelyn-elders--gimme-shelter) [12/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#family-friends-and-a-stranger) [12/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#a-nervous-lunch) [12/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#a-call-from-hr) [12/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#wheres-jackie-chans-forehead) [12/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#hey-space-aliens-take-me-too) [12/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#saturday-december-17-1994) [12/18①](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#nothing-to-complain-about) [12/18②](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#pickle-barrel-man) [12/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#george-becomes-stanley) [12/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#holiday-pizza) [12/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#no-sick-leave-for-workers) [12/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#not-today) [12/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#me--mr-wealth) [12/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#black-beauty) [12/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#and-so-this-is-christmas) [12/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#everybody-abuse) [12/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#chia-kangaroo) [12/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#shut-the-heck-up) [12/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#note-on-the-door) [12/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#annoying-jenn) [12/31①](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#a-dream-untold) [12/31②](../Pathetic Life/PL-07#bonus-diatribe)

Pathetic Life #8 — January 1995

[1/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#my-special-k-pinch) [1/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#technical-difficulties) [1/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#a-little-low-level-harassment) [1/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#a-satanic-curse) [1/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#an-offer) [1/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#mr-patel-and-the-pud) [1/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#the-finer-diner) [1/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#the-so-so-book) [1/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#fractional-friends) [1/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#mark-of-the-beast) [1/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#6-foot-11) [1/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#hawn-chobs) [1/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#mommas-little-boy) [1/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#trying-to-be-zen) [1/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#owning-the-city) [1/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#observed) [1/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#jennifers-nuts) [1/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#not-among-the-ps) [1/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#calling-9-1-1) [1/20①](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#the-answer-of-course-is-everything) [1/20②](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#blowing-bubbles-at-36) [1/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#a-long-talk-without-talking) [1/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#six-and-a-half-samurai) [1/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#masturbation-conversation) [1/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#gray) [1/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#a-tale-of-two-e-mails) [1/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#kallies-freakout) [1/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#not-date-after-not-work) [1/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#salad-bar-science) [1/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#futility-enterprises) [1/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#officer-frenzy) [1/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-08#things-could-get-dicey)

Pathetic Life #9 — February 1995

Entries for this issue were only partially written, and never published. For why, see the entry for [3/1/1995](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#ill-do-anything-legal-for-5-an-hour).

Pathetic Life #10 — March 1995

[3/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#ill-do-anything-legal-for-5-an-hour) [3/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#wishing-i-was-somewhere-else) [3/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#flirting-by-mail) [3/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#sticky) [3/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#a-communist-plot-or-something) [3/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#a-fifty-dollar-day) [3/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#the-shop-with-two-names) [3/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#pike) [3/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#the-view-from-a-different-window) [3/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#a-key-and-a-phone) [3/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#ridiculous-man) [3/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#sidewalk-stories) [3/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#why-do-you-keep-calling) [3/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#the-memory-box) [3/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#calcutta-at-the-library) [3/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#enough) [3/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#poop-and-other-shit) [3/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#castro-street) [3/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#gunshots-and-irony) [3/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#a-day-off-planet) [3/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#itsy-bitsy-spiders) [3/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#no-real-complaints) [3/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#cold) [3/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#forgotten-men-and-street-people) [3/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#shall-we-dance) [3/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#looking-the-other-way) [3/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#at-the-oscars) [3/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#welcome-to-aquatic-park) [3/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#11-hours) [3/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#rich-dunderhead-poor-dunderhead) [3/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-10#just-a-kiss)

Pathetic Life #11 — April 1995

[4/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#loud-day) [4/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#a-cruel-and-monstrous-god) [4/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#four-minutes-to-van-ness) [4/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#one-good-one-bad-and-questions-in-between) [4/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#less-money-more-happy) [4/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#nothing-unusual-so-far) [4/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#bill) [4/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#manifest-stupidity) [4/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#im-a-little-short-on-the-rent) [4/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#one-sentence-more-than-i-want) [4/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#the-twinkie-offense) [4/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#make-do) [4/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#visit-to-a-previous-life) [4/14-15](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#square-dance-and-auld-lang-syne) [4/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#head-over-heels-in-hate) [4/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#out-of-business) [4/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#ah-april) [4/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#weak-weed) [4/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#wind-and-shadows) [4/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#guest-host) [4/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#tennyson-anyone) [4/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#still-a-stranger) [4/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#a-correction-pen) [4/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#the-cape-that-wears-me) [4/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#basic-drag) [4/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#a-call-i-wont-return) [4/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#the-future-revealed) [4/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#saturday-on-the-sidewalk) [4/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-11#grand-central-station)

Pathetic Life #12 — May 1995

[5/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#grandma-sitter) [5/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#a-loud-love-story) [5/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#23-trains-to-nowhere) [5/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#the-lawyer-and-the-landlord) [5/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#sound-vibes) [5/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#and-to-think-that-i-saw-it-on-market-street) [5/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#donuts) [5/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#infectious-ride-to-venice) [5/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#n-words-out-the-window) [5/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#nothing-left-to-say) [5/11①](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#our-daily-bread) [5/11②](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#one-last-argument) [5/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#a-cacophony-of-none) [5/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#working-on-saturday) [5/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#breakfast-bums-and-fish) [5/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#inner-journey-before-the-flight) [5/16-23①](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#how-i-spent-my-summer-vacation) [5/16-23②](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#how-i-spent-my-summer-vacation) [5/16-23③](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#how-i-spent-my-summer-vacation) [5/16-23④](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#how-i-spent-my-summer-vacation) [5/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#a-crowded-apartment) [5/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#drag-for-every-persuasion) [5/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#room-wanted) [5/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#a-known-commodity) [5/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#she-saw-the-rest-of-me) [5/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#satisfaction) [5/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#north-beach-and-berkeley) [5/31①](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#peoples-park) [5/31②](../Pathetic Life/PL-12#letters-we-get-letters)

Pathetic Life #13 — June 1995

[6/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#mildly-mentally-ill) [6/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#adios-unusualia) [6/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#adios-abiquiu) [6/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#the-philosophy-behind-the-fish) [6/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#a-dull-day-at-the-diary) [6/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#poetry-and-police) [6/7-8](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#a-walk-in-the-mission) [6/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#two-naps-in-one-afternoon) [6/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#proof-of-meekness) [6/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#fake-maple-bars) [6/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#somewhere-south-of-market) [6/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#probably-not) [6/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#me-as-the-maid) [6/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#guess-ill-be-a-berkeley-boy) [6/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#rent-liberation) [6/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#an-island) [6/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#what-would-darwin-do) [6/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#pike-and-terry) [6/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#sarah-katherine-andthe-second-bathroom) [6/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#now-reporting-from-the-east-bay) [6/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#judith) [6/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#incident-at-rite-aid) [6/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#two-kicks) [6/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#on-special-assignment-for-the-cia) [6/26-27](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#stuck-in-limbo) [6/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#umberto) [6/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#gods-wrath-every-day-of-my-life) [6/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-13#a-chipped-tooth-and-a-dollar-discount)

Pathetic Life #14 — July 1995

[7/1-2](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#playing-by-the-rules) [7/3-4](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#packing-and-moving) [7/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#most-days-its-a-challenge) [7/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#what-would-fat-jesus-do) [7/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#fear-of-boxes) [7/8-9](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#no-fish-stories) [7/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#dinner-at-dennys-with-clay-and-dick) [7/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#without-words-on-paper) [7/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#no-pretenses) [7/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#a-few-blocks-ofwalking-poetry-and-jazz) [7/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#lucky-man) [7/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#semi-hard) [7/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#a-day-with-the-dead) [7/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#well-holy-shit) [7/18-19](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#me-in-one-word) [7/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#the-major-mistakes-of-my-life) [7/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#immoral-fish-no-surprise) [7/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#hoot--holler-fest) [7/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#the-invisible-rinaldi) [7/24-25](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#cry) [7/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#wallpaper-emergency) [7/27-28](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#carlotta-on-telegraph-ave) [7/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#what-lesbians-do) [7/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#just-another-rant) [7/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-14#as-sweet-as-cherry-pie)

Pathetic Life #15 — August 1995

[8/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#a-boy-named-doug) [8/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#fishless) [8/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#three-tales-from-telegraph-avenue) [8/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#roaches-and-schmucks) [8/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#trouble-on-my-righttrouble-on-my-left) [8/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#enough-already) [8/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#a-fountain-of-news) [8/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#too-much-garlic) [8/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#jerrys-dead) [8/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#a-slice-at-dagwoods) [8/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#a-brief-moment-of-what-the-hell) [8/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#the-new-crusades) [8/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#something-rash) [8/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#premonition) [8/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#the-chair-that-couldnt) [8/16-17](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#fangs) [8/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#the-kid-and-the-cop) [8/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#why-she-annoys-me) [8/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#adrift-in-berkeley) [8/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#into-the-city-and-back-again) [8/22-23](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#i-walk-alone) [8/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#the-cockroach-and-the-complainer) [8/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#bad-day-on-telegraph-ave) [8/26-28](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#pooting-publicly) [8/29-30](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#bananas-coming-and-goingwith-fish-in-between) [8/31①](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#stay-way-out-there) [8/31②](../Pathetic Life/PL-15#letters-to-a-fat-slob)

Pathetic Life #16 — September 1995

[9/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#knickknacks) [9/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#a-big-argument) [9/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#an-evening-with-grandma-h) [9/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#far-away) [9/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#streetcars-cats-and-crickets) [9/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#is-this-allowed-isnt-there-a-rule) [9/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#mr-larues-office) [9/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#the-evening-newswith-calvin-klein-and-oj-simpson) [9/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#ten-things-i-hate-about-zines) [9/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#doing-nothing-all-day) [9/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#legs-butts-and-boobies) [9/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#the-lunch-the-movie-and-josh) [9/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#breakfast-at-jjs-with-jay) [9/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#while-mom-watched) [9/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#listening-to-free-radio-berkeley) [9/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#breakfast-for-one) [9/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#wally-gets-arrested) [9/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#a-touch-of-self-sabotage) [9/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#never-again) [9/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#cranky-all-day) [9/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#mr-black-hat-and-me) [9/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#people-have-to-push-back) [9/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#return-to-telegraph-ave) [9/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#another-woman) [9/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#on-glossy-paperopposite-an-ad-for-gucci) [9/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#two-movies-and-then-whatam-i-supposed-to-say-to-tim) [9/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#you-wont-believe-how-goodhow-fast-how-cheap) [9/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#this-weeks-britches) [9/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#other-peoples-friends) [9/30①](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#danny-dollars) [9/30②](../Pathetic Life/PL-16#pathetic-lives)

Pathetic Life #17— October 1995

[10/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#the-world-according-to-very-abdul) [10/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#the-twins) [10/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#the-verdict-and-the-vermin) [10/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#a-lot-of-rot-about-freedom) [10/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#flea-ride) [10/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#purple-and-hairy-and-thanks-hollie) [10/7-9](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#mr-irion-surprises-me) [10/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#at-marions-apartment) [10/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#eddie-anderson-at-the-oaks) [10/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#an-untaped-schlong) [10/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#visit-to-anderson-valley) [10/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#an-evening-with-loki-and-martha) [10/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#a-brief-history-of-fish) [10/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#ha-i-got-the-last-word) [10/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#the-man-whose-name-ive-forgotten) [10/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#you-missed-a-corner) [10/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#a-gig-i-didnt-get) [10/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#too-much-sleep) [10/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#not-a-moment-im-proud-of) [10/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#a-5050-mix-of-semen-and-dishwashing-soap) [10/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#terrys-new-job) [10/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#no-boners-for-her) [10/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#story-time-with-gertrude) [10/26-27](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#a-bike-and-a-dozen-bugbombs) [10/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#marijuana-cookies-2) [10/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#there-was-no-struggle) [10/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#a-dogs-worries) [10/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-17#the-end-of-october)

Pathetic Life #18 — November 1995

[11/1①](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#incoming-wounded) [11/1②](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#never-to-return) [11/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#handshake) [11/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#an-old-mans-good-old-days) [11/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#rescued) [11/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#climb-every-motherfucking-mountain) [11/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#this-is-not-america) [11/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#how-much) [11/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#getting-to-know-me) [11/9-10](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#mr-rogers-and-the-brick-hut) [11/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#cinemax-unscrambled) [11/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#a-nightingale-sang-in-berkeley-square) [11/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#drugs-are-really-excellent) [11/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#no-checks-and--shut-up-already) [11/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#government-shutdown) [11/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#double-feature-and-second-thoughts) [11/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#cops-and-christians) [11/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#alone-is-the-baseline) [11/19-25](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#mad-dog) [11/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#rice-steamed-vegetables-and-more-rice-to-go-please) [11/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#a-few-cards-short-of-52) [11/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#diane--jeffrey) [11/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#and-hows-life) [11/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-18#nobodys-touching-me-including-me)

Pathetic Life #19 — December 1995

[12/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#permit-to-place-object-on-sidewalk) [12/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#the-free-speech-ghetto) [12/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#unsigned) [12/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#andrea-and-shannon) [12/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#nine-letters) [12/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#the-informant) [12/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#trevor-and-gerry) [12/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#am-i-street-legal) [12/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#lunch-with-danny-dinner-with-josh) [12/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#walk-with-a-friend) [12/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#rain) [12/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#father-of-none) [12/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#listening-to-jasper) [12/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#the-church-youth-group) [12/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#a-berkeley-liberal) [12/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#wavy-gravy-and-norikonoko) [12/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#klezmer-maniac) [12/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#no-holiday-bird) [12/19-20](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#your-government-breaking-your-heart) [12/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#xmas-angst-and-depression) [12/22-23](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#the-laws-against-you) [12/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#twister-on-christmas-eve) [12/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#no-christmas-1995) [12/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#unlabelled) [12/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#not-a-plea-for-help) [12/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#between-barfings) [12/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#the-mystery-of-the-stink) [12/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#saying-nothing) [12/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-19#the-years-final-pettiness)

Pathetic Life #20 — January 1996

[1/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#distance-is-my-favorite-family-value) [1/2-4](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#all-i-ask-of-the-future) [1/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#like-hell-you-will) [1/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#inarguably-fucked-up-in-the-head) [1/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#brenda) [1/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#tannenbaum-massacre) [1/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#goodbye-damn-it) [1/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#mailbag) [1/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#the-people-in-charge) [1/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#an-invitation-to-tea) [1/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#midget-and-stickman) [1/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#intruder-alert) [1/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#graham-cracker-slumgullion) [1/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#remembrances-in-the-rain) [1/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#wishing-her-the-very-best) [1/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#the-old-church) [1/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#mr-menthol) [1/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#beaned) [1/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#gerry-goes-to-jail) [1/22](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#man-down) [1/23](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#a-big-fat-failure) [1/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#playing-in-the-rain) [1/25](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#the-bill-of-rights-is-mostly-bullshit) [1/26](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#50-worth-of-crime) [1/27](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#never-steal-a-pirates-galoshes) [1/28](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#street-krishnas) [1/29](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#fondue-fred) [1/30](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#a-fine-rat) [1/31](../Pathetic Life/PL-20#a-brand-new-start-of-it-new-york-new-york)

Pathetic Life #21 — February 1996

[2/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#copwatch) [2/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#inspected-and-alone) [2/3](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#not-today-thanks) [2/4](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#listening-to-pirate-radio) [2/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#two-bad-rides-on-bart) [2/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#consider-yourself-nudged) [2/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#one-of-the-best-and-most-liberating-things) [2/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#heat-simmers-and-ua-sucks) [2/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#paranoia-runs-deep) [2/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#a-moment-of-violence) [2/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#a-goddess-from-walhalla) [2/12](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#my-theory-of-hygiene) [2/13](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#a-card-with-no-words) [2/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#no-answers-fishguy) [2/15-16](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#cinnamon) [2/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#still-perfectly-edible) [2/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#an-acceptable-variant) [2/19](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#nap-times-over) [2/20](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#a-strangers-dead-uncle) [2/21](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#honesty-in-government) [2/22-23](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#i-deserve-worse) [2/24](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#a-five-hour-dinner) [2/25-29](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#famous-last-words) [2/29①](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#why-does-it-have-to-be-so-difficult) [2/29②](../Pathetic Life/PL-21#christmas-tree-capitalism)

Pathetic Life #22 — March 1996

[3/1](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#still-sick-sorry) [3/2](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#walking-pneumonia) [3/3-4](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#not-my-best-moment) [3/5](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#stiffed-by-quimbys) [3/6](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#dinner-and-a-double-feature) [3/7](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#life-death-and-anonymity) [3/8](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#marijuana-and-erythromycin) [3/9](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#brenda-bradley-and-barbara) [3/10](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#yucky-stuff) [3/11](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#at-mabels-place) [3/12-13](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#incident-at-burger-king) [3/14](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#50) [3/15](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#baked-beaned-and-burned) [3/16](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#rivers-of-living-water) [3/17](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#jacques-invitation) [3/18](../Pathetic Life/PL-22#open-wide)

Illustration by Jeff Meyer.