Duck Soup (1933)

Freedonia is a nearing national bankruptcy, but a wealthy matron (Margaret Dumont, hooray) is willing to loan the country many millions of dollars to stave off economic collapse. There's just one catch — she'll only loan the money if the nation's leader resigns, and Rufus T Firefly (Groucho) takes charge.

This has always been my favorite of the Marx Brothers movies. Groucho is relentlessly funny, the script and the brothers are at a peak, and the story line is pretty dang close to anarchy.

Every scene involves at least one of the Marxes, so it never gets boring except briefly, when it's Zeppo. Chico and Harpo are Chico and Harpo, only more so if that's possible, with the former speaking eternally befuddled Italian and the latter not speaking at all. Harpo is also Groucho, and it's hilarious.

If any form of pleasure is exhibited
report to me and it will be prohibited
I'll put my foot down, so shall it be,
this is the land of the free!

Duck Soup is subversive to the very last moment, and with so many laughs there's no time for Harpo to play the harp nor Chico the piano.

But it's hard to recap a Marx movie — the plot doesn't matter much, and it's not fair and never enough to simply quote the jokes. And anyway, you can't quote Harpo, who's the funniest of the brothers here. Yeah, even funnier than Groucho. There, I said it.

Verdict: BIG YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Kes (1969)

This is a painful look at lower-caste childhood, about a boy dealing with (and dishing out) the daily indignities of school, and eventually adopting a pet kestrel.

Due to his poverty and class, the boy, Billy, has a very limited life ahead of him, probably following his older brother into the coal mines. The bird is the only thing Billy cares about, and his only chance to escape the mines, or an even bleaker future.

Director Ken Loach has made a lot of subversive films, but this remains his masterpiece. It's a kick in the nuts to the educational system, as there's no way anyone could emerge undamaged from Billy's school.

It's not entirely depressing, though. There's a hilarious conversation between Billy and a librarian who won't let him check out a book until he gets a library card, though of course he can't get a library card without a parent's signature, and good luck getting that.

The cockney or Yorkshire accents are very thick, and difficult for my ear. Subtitles are required, but I didn't have access, so while watching I read along with an internet transcript.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Kid (1990)

Kid is as clever and creative as its title. It's built on the popular action-movie template of "There's a new guy in town and everybody's out to hassle him," with the twist that the new guy in town is as stupid and cruel as his tormentors. C Thomas Howell stars, glaring at everyone for an hour and a half.

"Dude, you look like you just got banged by the dick of doom."

Verdict: BIG NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

Nightmare in Chicago (1964)

This is a dark, noiry, creepy thriller about a serial killer code-named Georgy Porgy, who's killing women across the midwest.

Most of the action takes place in the seediest "Girls Girls Girls" section of town, and one of the murders happens rather gruesomely during a nightclub strip show.

Amazingly, this was made for television. Or at least, that's what IMDB says, though it's hard to believe and I wonder if they're mistaken. Can't imagine what network would've aired this in 1964. It sure doesn't feel like a made-for-TV movie; it's more like a very good B-movie thriller from that era.

The film's high quality comes from being based on a story by William P McGivern (The Big Heat, Odds Against Tomorrow, Shield for Murder), and directed by Robert Altman, who went on to make Nashville, The Player, Short Cuts, and a few more pretty good flicks.

The cops are distracted by a convoy full of McGuffins, and a central clue in capturing the bad guy is that he wears sunglasses, even at night. Because of this, cops think he has a disease that makes bright lights painful, so they run around shining a super-bright flashlight in everyone's eyes. Bright lights in everyone's faces soon becomes comical, but it all works marvelously, and outta nowhere the ending earns some serious poignancy.

Ted Knight, years before playing Ted Baxter, plays pretty much the same character — a pompous, humorless police commissioner with great hair.

Music by "Johnny Williams," who's since gone by John, and scored Star Wars among a few other films.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Point Blank (1967)

Walker (no first name, played by Lee Marvin) has been double-crossed by the mob, and feels he's owed $93,000, and he'll kill anybody up the Mafia's chain of command until he gets his money.

The movie's a classic, everyone says. And it is a good movie, but it left me cold. There's not much humanity in it.

The story is told with lots of quick flashbacks that fill in the blanks, or most of the blanks, and it's interesting but it rarely feels like anything more than actors performing a script.

There's a great scene where Angie Dickinson slaps Marvin around, beats on his chest, furious, and he stands and takes it, doesn't care. When she runs out of energy and collapses on the floor, he sits on the couch and turns on the TV. He doesn't give a damn. (She ain't entirely out of gumption, though.)

The film gets a thumbs up from me, because a lot of it looks terrific, the dialogue is made of solid noir, and I can't fault any of it really — the script, the direction, the performances. And yet...

I don't even know what I'm complaining about, specifically. But Dickinson pounding on Marvin's chest, and his uncaring response, sorta encapsulates what's missing:

Watching it, I'm sitting here, pounding on the movie's chest, waiting for Point Blank to care about itself. But it remains thoroughly detached and never does.

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

The Railway Children (1970)

An upper-class family is thrown far from their routines after the father is arrested on suspicion of espionage. Mom and the three kiddies move from their fine home to a lesser house near the train station, which makes the three kids into railway children.

"It's quite true that we are poor, but we shall have enough to live on just so long as I have ideas for stories." Mom is a writer, apparently.

This is a very 'family film', in which not a lot happens but it's all charming, and it's British so bring some buttered crumpets and tea.

It's based on an apparently classic kiddie book by Edith Nesbit, which I'd never heard of. The G-rated storyline and especially the sleepy-time musical score make it all seem even blander, perhaps, than it is.

Jenny Agutter stars, with the marvelous Bernard Cribbins.

Verdict: YES, but barely.

♦ ♦ ♦

Samantha (1991)

A baby is left on a stranger's doorstep (does that ever really happen?), and she grows up to be the brilliant violinist Martha Plimpton.

Her adoption was kept secret from her (never a good idea) until she's 21, and immediately she makes it her mission to find her biological parents. Toward that goal, she gives not enough attention to her music, the parents who raised and love her, and the pal she doesn't yet know is the man of her dreams.

"We wrapped you in a blanket, and put you inside our best wicker basket... oh honey, do you remember that basket? We used to take that basket on picnics. I could fit a whole ham inside that basket..."

Mostly this is sit-com level stuff, but Plimpton can make anything sparkle.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Coming attractions:
• Alien from the Deep (1989)
• Apollo 10½ (2022)
• It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Superman! (1975)
• Malcolm X (1975)
• Mom and Dad Save the World (1991)
• Strike (1925)
• Top Secret (1984)
2/22/2023

There are so many good movies out there — old movies, odd or artsy, foreign or forgotten movies, or do-it-yourself movies made just for the joy of making them — that if you only watch whatever's on Netflix or playing at the twenty-plex, you're missing out.

To get beyond the ordinary, try • Alter • Cineverse • Criterion • CultCinema Classics • DocsVille • Dust • Fandor • Hoopla • IHaveNoTV • IndieFlix • Internet Archive • Kanopy • KinoCult • Kino Lorber • Korean Classic Film • Christopher R Mihm • Mosfilm • Mubi • National Film Board of Canada • New Yorker Screening Room • Damon Packard • Mark Pirro • PizzaFlix • PopcornFlix • Public Domain Movies • RareFilmm • Scarecrow Video • Shudder • ThoughtMaybe • Timeless Classic Movies • VoleFlix • or your local library.

Some people even access films through shady methods, though of course, that would be wrong.

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Illustration by Jeff Meyer. Reviews are spoiler-free. Click any image to enlarge. [Arguments & recommendations are welcome,](mailto:[email protected]?subject=Comments for Mostly Words) but no talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff.