or, How to drive a bus (part 15)
Part 1 Part 2 [Part 3](../Cranky Old Fart/COF-174) [Part 4](../Cranky Old Fart/COF-174) [Part 5](../Cranky Old Fart/COF-175)
Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

When I went to sleep Thursday night, my plan was to come to work the next day, and drive the bus, maybe for the last time.

When I woke up on Friday morning, though, it felt like… why bother? I don't think it's possible for me to pass my "final exam" as a bus driver, not with Vivian as my teacher. She'd fail me, even if I drove smooth as Scarlett Johansson's butt.

Of course, after my near-miss with a Metro bus yesterday — which Vivian didn't even see — maybe I deserve to be flunked.

♦ ♦ ♦

I could fight it, sure. I could complain to Vivian's boss, but he's a man I've met only once and only briefly, and she's been working for him for years. There's no point in me talking to the boss.

Maybe I could ask for a trade. "I want to drive with Juan today, or Sienna," I could say. Rookies don't draw up the schedule, though, and don't make demands.

If they did switch me to Juan or Sienna as my instructor, there'd have to be long conversations about why. I ain't got the gumption for all the drama that would entail, not this morning. Not at my age.

Or I could drive to the bus barn and punch the clock like today's an ordinary day. Simply ride and drive with Vivian again, swallowing lots of aspirin and self-respect.

♦ ♦ ♦

It's all very Hamlet. To drive, or not to drive?

If I drive the bus today, and do whatever Vivian tells me to do (Turn right from the left lane? Sure!) maybe I'll pass, maybe I'll fail, but either way my time with Vivian would be over.

Yeah, but my time with Vivian could be over even sooner, if I simply go back to sleep.

If I go to work today, it would only be for my satisfaction. If I drove well, I'd be happy with myself, even if Vivian flunked me and made me unemployed again.

Then again, if I drive a bus all day, maybe I'd curb it again — or make a much worse mistake, like almost happened yesterday.

Thinking it over in the early morning darkness, the most compelling argument for going to work this morning is, I'm curious to see whether Mitch passes, and becomes a bus driver.

I have Jo-Jo's number, though. Maybe I'll call him next week and ask about Mitch's fate.

♦ ♦ ♦

Vivian would disagree, but in my opinion I've passed the course.

I can drive a bus.

I can safely and smoothly brake, accelerate, turn, and stop, all without hitting anything or knocking passengers out of their seats.

I can handle the bus on the freeway, or on itsy bitsy back streets, and I can drive it in reverse, so I've done what I set out to do.

♦ ♦ ♦

Don't ever say one person can't make a difference. Right up until I was assigned to Vivian's bus, I was doing pretty good, and thinking I'd be a bus driver.

♦ ♦ ♦

I'll walk away from this as a better driver — of my own ancient Chevy — than I was a month ago. I'm much more safety-conscious now, following at a longer distance on the freeway, driving slower in the rain, more clearly anticipating dangerous things that other drivers might do, and calculating what I'd do in response.

Always I've been interested in public transit, so buses fascinate me, and I've enjoyed my month behind the scenes in a world of buses. They put me behind the wheel, man, and it was a blast! I got to drive a bus in traffic, and they paid me to do it.

♦ ♦ ♦

I am out $160 worth of bus driver stuff that's been arriving box-by-box from Amazon over the weekend, though.

♦ ♦ ♦

And yet, the argument in my head continues.

To get to the bus barn on time today, I'd need to shower and get dressed, and be in my car within the next 45 minutes.

It isn't wise to drive a bus in a bad mood, though. I shouldn't have driven a bus yesterday, and I ain't doing it today.

Heck, I don't even like driving my car. What was I smoking, to imagine me driving a bus 40 hours a week?

"This is Dispatch."
"Howdy. My name's Doug Holland. I'm a trainee driver, and I'm calling out for today."

I'm probably also calling out for the rest of my life, but I'll take a three-day weekend to continue arguing it in my head.

8/28/2022

Addendum, Sunday evening: I was mistaken, thinking I'd be thinking about all this, all weekend. Gave it very nearly no thought at all, other than editing and posting the week's bus chronicles.

Instead I kicked back, rode the city bus, went to the library, and came home to watch old movies. It was my most relaxed weekend in a month.

Now it's late in the afternoon on Sunday, and with no clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow, I should be doing a load of laundry, but... I'm not doing laundry today.

I need a job, this one pays OK, and I've almost completed my training. I also need the health coverage that comes with the job, so there's no doubting that a responsible adult would do the laundry, and then be at the bus barn on Monday morning.

I've never been a responsible adult, though, so I'm not doing any of that. It's back to sleeping in, and lazily looking for work.

Not this week, though. I'm taking some time off.

How to drive a bus
Part 1 Part 2 [Part 3](../Cranky Old Fart/COF-174) [Part 4](../Cranky Old Fart/COF-174) [Part 5](../Cranky Old Fart/COF-175)
Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15