At Dean's dogged insistence, I ate some of his roast beef last night, and his specialty green beans, left over from the Christmas dinner I didn't eat with him and my other flatmate, Robert.

"Thank you, Dean," I said, taking a couple of slices of the beef, frightfully rare and red.

"I always cook the meat rare," he said. "If you don't like it rare, just slap it on a skillet and cook it a little more."

"Thank you, Dean," I said, and slapped it on a skillet.

White it sizzled, he talked about his long career as a chef in fancy kitchens, and all the compliments his cooking always gets. That's what he talks about, whenever we talk.

"Thank you," I said again, when after a few minutes more talking, he let me slip into my room with the by-then cold beef and beans.

The beef was… beef, no different from roast beef you'd eat anywhere. The beans were bland, and I didn't finish them.

Cooking is the biggest thing in Dean's life. It's his passion, so it isn't just weird, it's sad, that the food he's prepared and shared with the flatmates, twice now, has been nothing special.

Domino's makes crappy pizza, but it's cheap. I haven't eaten any pizza this year, and they mailed a flyer promising "Any pizza, for $6.99 when you order two."

This was weeks ago, before I started eating healthy, and I could easily eat two pizzas and call it dinner, so I was ready to buy. At their website, though, the order errored out when I tried applying the coupon code. I tried it a second time, and again got the error message, something like, "Your order cannot be processed; please call your local store and order by phone."

I hate the phone but wanted some $6.99 pizza, so I called my local Domino's, and ordered two pizzas. It's been a while, so I don't remember the bogus specifics of why, but the total was twenty-nine dollars and change, not including the delivery fee — more than twice the $14 plus tax promised in the ad.

My response was to hang up, and eat a TV dinner for dinner that night, but I also filled out a complaint form on the Domino's website. I was polite, thinking maybe my complaint might score a free pizza as an apology, or even the promised $6.99 pizza.

All this was so long ago, that when an email from Domino's popped into my box this morning, I assumed it was spam and almost deleted it.

It's a form letter, of course. "We are committed to your satisfaction," it says, "and consider your feedback to be a gift."

I laughed for almost a minute, non-stop. No coupon was attached. Guess I gave a gift to Domino's Pizza.

News you need,
whether you know it or not

• Kansas hospital confiscates medical marijuana from cancer patient, and calls the cops

• New York's Democratic Governor picks conservative anti-abortion judge for state's highest court

• Supreme Court tells refugees to go to hell

• Newly-elected Congressman admits fabricating his entire resumé: "We do stupid things in life"

• Science reveals unionized workers earn better pay and benefits

Mystery links
Like life itself, there's no knowing where you're going

• click

• click

• click

Clicks ahoy

• How corporations deliberately pit consumers against low-wage workers

We can’t get mad at the corporation that’s delayed our flight, or “over-billed” (stolen) $400 from us, or removed a life-saving medicine from our insurance, or erroneously reported us to a collection agency, ruining our credit — because we can’t actually talk to anyone to get mad at. They’ve built up walls such that the only way to actually contact them is to retain an attorney and sue them. And even then you’re really only contacting an attorney. But most of their fleecing and robbery falls well below the threshold that would make this make economic sense. And they know this.

• Netflix is hard at work destroying Netflix

• How mental time travel can make us better people

I'm amused by the article's Camp David citation, wherein it's noteworthy, even heroic, that a politician paused for a moment and thought about the future.

• Literally

• How Panic was banned in Massachusetts

• The 1936 sit-down strike that brought General Motors to its knees

• New Year’s Eve parties in the 1950s and 1960s

• What's a job you do that barely anyone even knows exists?

♫♬ Mix tape of my mind ♫

• Cherry Bomb — Joan Jett

• Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival

• Light in the Sky — Steve Hillage

• Self-Effacing — Sparks

• Your Wildest Dreams — The Moody Blues

Eventually, everyone
leaves the building

• Rick Anderson

• Daniel Brush

• Denny Doyle

• Dick Flavin

• Diane McBain

• Harry Sheppard

• Christopher Tucker

12/29/2022
Tip 'o the hat to Linden Arden, ye olde AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, Captain Hampockets, CaptCreate's Log, John the Basket, LiarTownUSA, Meme City, National Zero, Ran Prieur, Voenix Rising, and anyone else whose work I've stolen without saying thanks.
Special thanks to Becky Jo, Name Withheld, Dave S, Wynn Bruce, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn't always shitty.