COF 255 - dfs-archiver/dfs-archive GitHub Wiki
In late summer, when both my windows were open around the clock, lots of 'shield bugs' came in, and crawled and buzzed around in my room.
They're harmless, so we've co-existed. Sometimes, I'll get one to crawl onto a piece of paper, and release it into the wilds of the back porch. Other times I don't, because after all, they're just bugs.
Months later, there are far fewer of the shield bugs in my room, but once or twice daily I'll see one crawling on the wall, and I've come to understand their life cycle just a little.
They can fly, but with nowhere to fly to β now that my windows are closed for the winter β they rarely lift off. Flight seems to be their last recourse, as they're nearing death. A shield bug in flight is usually dying, doing circles around the lamp, then dropping to the carpet, dead, within a few hours.
My cat Izzy is fascinated by the bugs' one-at-a-time fatal orbit around the lamp, and sometimes I am, too. A shield bug is weirdly loud when it flies, so it's hard not to notice. Also, the lamp is beside my recliner, so their buzzing is basically in my ear, and sometimes a bug dies and falls into my lap.
This morning one of the shield bugs was doing the lamp loop-de-loop, and dropped onto the milk crate to my right, still alive and crawling. The cat had been watching it earlier, but now she was asleep in her milk crate/bed to my left, so I thought I'd offer the bug as a snack for Izzy.
Which isn't crazy or anything. I used to have cats that ate roaches.
So I put a piece of paper where the shield bug was walking, and it walked onto the paper like some domesticated bugs do. Then I shook it off the paper and onto the cat in her bed. The bug started walking on Izzy, and she woke up, but instead of eating the bug she jumped out of the milk crate, then turned around and sat on the floor, staring at the bug. For half an hour.
My cat refused to pounce and kill. She's a pacifist cat, and it makes me love her even more. In Izzy's honor, I scooped up the bug and set it free on the back porch, letting the cat have her bed back.
I'm not going to write a rant or anything, but this wisecrack β from social media encapsulates one of the many things wrong with Christmas.
How's about, instead of giving everything to everyone, we give gifts to little kids, and enjoy watching their eyes light up. That ought to be enough, maybe more than enough, depending on how bratty the kid is.
95% of adults don't need or want 95% of the gifts they get. It's only wasted money, keeping the oligarches wealthy and ordinary people struggling.
I've switched to a healthier diet, full of moist veggies like cucumbers and tomatoes instead of hotcakes and hamburgers, but it hadn't popped into my mind to stop popping so many laxatives into my mouth.
And then someone was in the only bathroom in the house, and nothing could be delayed, and I couldn't find my emergency toilet, so I've just dropped a load into a garbage bag.
It's not the first time I've pooped in a plastic bag, and if I'm lucky it won't be the last, but it's the first time I've stopped to really think about existentially.
Plastic is forever, or close to it. A future archaeological dig at some present day dump will find my garbage bag from this morning, and open it, hoping to find a clue to 21st century life before climate change toppled western civilization.
What will those scientists find? Two long and two short turds, and several brown wet wipes. This is my immortality.
And will it still stink? I sure hope so.
I wrote the above a week ago, and since then my pilgrim's progress has been easy.
For ten years, I've taken daily laxatives, because I'm old, and my pipes are drying out. At least, that's what I thought. But it seems to have had more to do with what I was eating.
My diet has been almost entirely vegetarian since seeing the doctor, and I've stopped taking laxatives, but still the poops come easy. And pssst β if you eat a lot of carrots, your poop turns orange. How cool is that?
News you need,
whether you know it or not
β’ Kentucky lawmaker speaks out about transgender son's suicide
Indirectly, but just as sure as if they'd pulled the trigger, Henry Berg-Brousseau is another person killed by conservative terror.
β’ Federal judge says San Francisco canβt clear homeless camps
This is beautiful, the correct ruling, and I wholeheartedly approve.
β’ Lawsuit puts studios at risk over deceptive movie trailers
This is also beautiful, the correct ruling, and again I wholeheartedly approve.
β’ West Point decides it's opposed to treason
β’ Jamie Raskin: electoral college is a "danger to the American people"
β’ 'Unprecedented' number of water pipes break in Lexington
And it never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, because climate change isn't 'coming', it's underway. It'll kill billions, and we're not doing squat about it.
β’ Oakdale police officer charged with harassment, gets one month paid leave
And it never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, because all cops are bastards, or they know who the bastard cops are and do nothing about it, which is the same thing.
β’ Three buses of Central and South American migrants bused to the vice-president's home from Texas
And it never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops, because Republicans are the enemy of common sense, common decency, simple truth, and democracy.
Mystery links
Like life itself, there's
no knowing where you're going
β’ click
β’ click
β’ click
Clicks ahoy
β’ David Letterman didn't interview Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy viz Skype or Zoom. He went to Kiev, and talked to him in a subway station bomb shelter.
β’ A media conglomerate the media rarely mentions: Liberty Media
β’ Dick Cavett takes a few questions
β’ Jeez, I wish I'd written this:
β’ Scientists propose method for detecting alien warp drive activity
β’ 12 best ways to get cars out of cities β ranked by new research
β’ The mysteries of Ellery Queen
β’ Ronald Boll Weevil McDonald
β’ Clever Hans
β’ Uguisu no fun
β«β¬ Mix tape of my mind β«
β’ Frank Mills β Hair
β’ I Melt with You β Modern English
β’ Lights Are Changing β Mary Lou Lord
β’ The Way You Look Tonight β MouseRat
β’ Where Do the Children Play? β Cat Stevens
Eventually, everyone
leaves the building
β’ Dino Danelli
β’ Stephen Greif
β’ Franco Harris
β’ Mike Hodges
β’ Marijane Meaker
β’ Maggie Thrett
12/27/2022
Tip 'o the hat to Linden Arden, ye olde AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, Captain Hampockets, CaptCreate's Log, John the Basket, LiarTownUSA, Meme City, National Zero, Ran Prieur, Voenix Rising, and anyone else whose work I've stolen without saying thanks.
Special thanks to Becky Jo, Name Withheld, Dave S, Wynn Bruce, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn't always shitty.