At the life insurance company where I work, I'm processing newly-purchased policies. I've been at this job for years, but I've never seen anything quite like this before:

It's a $50,000 insurance policy, purchased with a $500 down-payment and monthly payments of $74.12. Obviously from those numbers, the person buying this policy is not rich. Our company will take anyone's money, and this particular type of policy is marketed to people on a budget.

The beneficiary — the person who will receive a payoff check when the customer passes away — is Donald J. Trump, the President of the United States.

When I saw that on the application, I took our Lord and Savior's name in vain. It's long been obvious that most of Trump's supporters are as dumb as a sack of sticks, but how staggeringly stupid does someone have to be, to purchase a life insurance policy payable to Donald Trump?

There's a slight problem, though: A policy's beneficiary is required to be someone in your family, or a friend, or a charity. The President of the United States can't be the beneficiary on your life insurance policy, unless you're actually a friend or relative of the President.

For this reason, the policy was held up for a few days, as we contacted the selling agent, and the agent had the policy-owner change and initial that line on the application form. The beneficiary is still Donald Trump, but on the revised application he's now listed as the customer's "friend" instead of President.

I strongly doubt that President Trump is friends with someone who lists his occupation as assistant manager of a body shop in Nashville, Tennessee. But friendship is not something an insurance company can easily verify, so we're issuing the policy.

This shit-for-brains in Nashville is going to pay $74.12 every month for what's probably the rest of his life — he's 55 years old, and it's a 20-year payment-plan. For his money, he gets the piece of mind of knowing that Donald Trump gets $50,000.

But there's another slight problem: After a customer passes away, my company doesn't simply mail a check. We mail a form letter, which begins, "Please accept our condolences," and ends by asking the beneficiary to fill out a brief, one-sheet piece of paperwork, and sign it, and send it to our office. Then we send the check. It's not a difficult procedure, but I wonder whether Trump would even bother?

What's $50,000 to a man as wealthy as Trump? Does Trump even know this person? Would he instruct one of his children or staffers fill out the payee paperwork? Just as likely, I think, Trump will be dead by the time the policy pays out. Or if he's alive, he would toss our company's letter into the trash, which would mean that this poor, hard-working but completely deluded Trump true-believer in Tennessee is spending $74 p/month for the rest of his life, for nothing.