• Ducky is bullshit. The more people the team kills the more undead minions she can raise and add to the fight as allies. She can also fling all kinds of curses and stuff. You've got an extra spicy lesser beholder to throw at the group? Yeah how about it doesn't get to take any turns? How about that bullshit? Also how about in addition to being one of the most powerful casters on the team she can also do decent melee damage now too? Bullshit.

• Dug is mega bullshit. A full caster in heavy armour and infinite carrying capacity who can just generate extra armour pieces like a factory? He's also a secret agent for a super secret network of spies and assassins. He has special magical hammers and weapons that float around and attack stuff for him. Oh and for some reason he has special magical dominion over doors. All your treasures are locked behind a sealed vault that's has a magical lock on it? Nope, fuck you. That's Dug's door now. Oh yeah, and he's still a cleric which means he gets to heal himself and others too.

• Fisty is extra special bullshit. Melee attacks? No thanks, I'll just fly up here out of reach. He's an eldritch blast machine and can throw fireballs at himself and shrug off the damage. He can summon friggin demons and hellspawn to wreak havoc on you. He's a walking plot device, doing freaky shit at the bidding of the patron in his book. Have you seen his hands? Red, velvety works of art. Every person he kills gives him more HP back. Social situations? How about infinite perfect disguises and charisma for days?

• Pankas is bullshit. Secret criminal mastermind and leader of the friggin Blue Brand Gang. Short rest? Don't even worry about it because he's got tiny hut whenever you want. He's probably going to pass pretty much any roll because of his expertise. He gets a butt ton of magic from other friggin classes because why not. And don't forget he can just choose to just give bonuses to any of your rolls.

• Tumutch is next level bullshit. Like, don't even get me started on Tumutch. You can't approach him or run away from him without getting an attack. He hits harder than a bulldozer and if he decides that bulldozers don't hit hard enough he might just throw a divine smite on there too. Oh you think this guy is pretty harmless because he's kind of dumb and plays the bagpipes and makes rats dance around? You might think that until he immolates you and melts your face right off for multiple friggin rounds. Bullshit. Oh yeah he's also a warlock so why not, let's add some magic to this juggernaut too. Oh, also he's a friggin oath breaker so who knows all the freaky shit he can do now that he's joined the dark side and embraced necromancy. Complete and utter bullshit.

original