Rampart Race and the Catnap Mishap - chrisman/skookums-and-dragons GitHub Wiki

tl;dr: The gang sneaks past all the guards on the Eastside wall, swoops down into southside, and stays the night at the Southside Inn. Sully coaches Dash on empathy and tolerance, and Dash not only doesn't stab the hobgoblin bartender, but has a sort of tender moment with him. The next morning, they leave and head south through southside and are tailed by a couple of Witch Hunters. Dash starts a fight with them and almost friggin dies, but the gang rallies and kills the two witch hunters.

As the gang continues south along the top of the wall, they notice an owl circling over head. That's weird.

map of wayside

They approach the next guard, who reveals that the guards are just citizens doing community service, and that Eastside is under the surveillance and under the thumb of the Lord Commander and his undermages, whose spy familiars include rats and owls... like the ones circling overhead.

The gang continues on their way.

Dash is feeling sporty and challenges Sully to a foot race. Sully accepts. Dash explodes off the starting line and is clocked at a 36 mile per hour sprint, and leaves Sully behind. When he stops, Dash sees another guard up ahead with four glowing orbs of light instead of the one orb that the previous guard had.

Dash runs back to the group and, because he is facing the group, sees that behind them the aforementioned previous guard's light blinks out. So he sprints back over there to see if she's okay.

She's okay. She's just peeing over the side of the wall and turned her light off for privacy, revealing that, despite what she just told them to the contrary, the guards do have control over their orbs after all.

Dash sprints back to the group and they continue south along the wall.

Soon, it's early morning, and a spooky-ish bell rings over Eastside, signaling the changing of the guard. The gang keeps running, trying to avoid new guards coming up onto the rampart, and they do avoid them all.

They soon come to the Vault, circle around, and start to climb down into Southside.

They tie a rope around Raahnubs, who goes limp as they lower him down. Then they tie the rope off. Gronk starts to climb down, but loses his grip. But then he growls, Gronk never loses (his grip) and he grabs a loop of rope and safely lowers himself the rest of the way down. Sully climbs down, then Dash throws the rope down, and climbs down the wall.

Note: while on the wall, Nubs's magic felt funny and sputtery. Once back on the ground, it felt fine again.

Once on the ground in Southside, Sully strikes off to make friends.

The first person they meet is Sal the Sauce, Southside Soldier. He's drunk. Sully asks about empanadas, but Sal doesn't know what those are. Eventually suggests Emilio's Old Apples and Adequate Sausages. Nobody feels enticed or delighted to hear this. Dash tries to recruit Sal, but Sal is not having it.

The gang eventually stumbles into Southside Inn, where Symas the hobgoblin is tending bar. Dash considers killing him on site, but then pulls Sully aside for guidance. Sully suggests not killing the hobgoblin, and instead trying to find something in common with him. After a rocky start, the two eventually discover a shared love of calligraphy.

The have a kind of Patrick Swayze in Ghost moment where Dash guides Symas's hands across the parchment and it's surprisingly intimate.

Achievement Get: Dash overcomes racism and murderous urges

The gang retires for the night. Nubs has procured two rooms: one for himself, and one for Dash and Sully and Gronk.

Nubs settles in despite a lack of buckets, sets a few alarms and obstacles in his room, and goes to sleep.

Dash curls up on Gronk's chest and goes to sleep.

Sully sleeps like a normal person.

The next morning, everybody wakes up and packs up and heads out.

After walking south for a while, Sully notices that they are being tailed by a couple of Witch Hunters.

He decides, true to form, that a direct approach is best, and walks up and says hello.

The Witch Hunter predictably backs away and tries to leave.

Dash notices who they are, blames them for the firebombing of the city, and stabs the holy hell out of the nearest one. Gronk is like, YES THIS FILLS ME WITH RAGE, and steps up and axes the holy hell out of the same guy. Sully and Nubs also get a swing on him. He's like, whoa, what? But is still standing after the dust settles. Dash is like, "That dude should be down. We should run away."

note: Dash and Gronk did nova damage on this opening round. (Dash crit on a sneak attack, which is just rude.) It was truly frightening that he was still standing.

Another witch hunter steps forward and runs Dash through with his rapier, and Dash falls down unconscious and starts dying on the ground in front of everybody, and stays there, dying, for pretty much the entire fight.

Everybody goes hog on Dude 1. Nubs catapults a dagger from Dash's dead hand into dude's face. Sully whacks him with his stick. And then Gronk axes him to pieces and he dies.

Dude 2 (Dash Killer) at this point has swooped in and is dragging Dash's unconscious and dying form away. Nubs is flinging grease everywhere and catapulting sharp objects. Sully is swinging sticks and spores. Gronk throws javelins, and then heroically and with sure feet wades out into the grease and axes the crap out of him.

Nubs has wandered into a store to get help. He convinces one local to pick up a shovel and help them. Heroic Shovel Knight tries hard but doesn't amount to much. A couple of town guards show up, and decide not to intervene at all.

On death's door now, Dude 2 drops Dash's body, shoots at Sully, and bolts, running as fast as he can, only to be greased by Nubs again, and he falls down on his face. Sully revives Dash with some kind of spores magic and yells, Dash! Get him!

Dash gasps, jumps up, and sprints away at 36 mph, catches up to Dude 2, who is still lying face down in the grease. Dash slashes and stabs him into pieces and he dies while Dash yells at him, Don't murder people! People hate that!