2024.06 - vlunsin/Nikki GitHub Wiki

June 17

Yesterday we visited some apartments and houses. My wife would like to be able to decorate her home as she likes, and it means owning the space we live in. As for the discussion regarding our job, the place we choose will have great impacts on our future : the world we live now implies that, for most people on this earth, if you want to buy a house, you have to get a loan for 35 or more years : pressure to be able to pay every month, which means pressure to find a job to be able to pay it. While the direct effects are obviously different, it's an investment that in term of duration is similar to taking he decision to have a child. For the child, it becomes a lifelong decision, but a 35 years loan isn't far from that.
For a child, the biological clock set us a deadline, that cannot be evaded. It is literally a now or never decision. For the house, while living as soon as possible in the place we choose and want to live it is understandable, if done a bit later is still possible.
Yesterday, we encountered a sales person for a mobile company, who wanted to sell his product to us. I never liked the sales attitude and world : selling you a product you don't necessarily need. And my late thinking regarding our society didn't help at all.
The first move of these sales persons is to offer you some free stuff, tissues or a pamphlet, so that, even if it's some crap, you feel you need to give something back to them. That's the common overture of the sales person parade. Then, they try to get a bit of your time, by saying it won't take long, a few minutes, and of course, generally, we can have a few minutes to spare. Then, they talk in a way that make you adhere to their talking, by making you say "yes" to some questions : saying "yes" to some questions will trick your mind to say "no" later on, you've said "yes" to some irrelevant things a few times in the discussion. Basically, those are just techniques and skills, that eventually make you purchase, at a price, something you don't need, or maybe something that, if having taking the time properly, would be different in the end, be it the brand, the type, etc...
And of course, when asking if I could just get some pamphlet so we can check that later, the offer was this day only. So he just uses all the tools in a few minutes of the typical sales, and that kind of got on my nerves quickly.
I didn't do my regular daily meditation this day (I do a quick one every morning, but I do longer ones in the afternoon when I get the chance), and after I wasn't able to keep my cool at all, I realized I have a long time before I can react the way I envision, meaning calm even in stressful events, or more cheerful when some joyful events (in particular with my wife, who is always cheerful). We cannot change in one day, it will take months or maybe years, to override bad habits created for more than decades. Personally, the years I spent without being able to overcome the grief of my mother impacted, and is still impacted my emotions now. The fact I so quickly snapped with this sales person is not only the result of my emotions on that day. It is the result of all my bad habits in a decade, that radically modified my mind at the core.
But the difference now, than before, and this difference is huge, is that I know that now. And we can change. For some people, we need to change. To get better habits, so that you are able to smile at the sales person while calmly refusing his offer.
As I'm on the sales topics, the husband of my wife's sister is working as a sales person. He is a very nice person but maybe I don't want to see him when he is at work lol. Anyway, the last time we had lunch with him, he was talking about the fact that, as a sales person, he had the obligation to participate to dinners or parties outside work hours, whether to thank a client, or create new sales opportunities, etc... It isn't uncommon in France, but in Japan, the culture is a bit different. It becomes a true obligation to participate. You also have to drink alcohol, and there is this hierarchy rule which can creates the situation very difficult for new hires or people in the lower ranks. While the situation seems to have evolved a bit, and is more relaxed than a few years ago, these "nomikai" as they are called in Japan, translated literally as "drinking rassemblement" are still very common. You are forced to drink as long as client or your boss wants to drink. Meaning you have to empty your glasses with them, and drink at least as much as them. I'll discuss the alcohol topic another day I think, but that is ridiculous, unhealthy and is just a way to boast the ego of some old geezers. (one big inhale by the nose, another one, and a long exhale... Let's calm down lol).
Anyway, my brother in law had another one of those nomikai, and texted her wife he didn't want to go and just wanted to go home. But rules are rules, and he went. They just bought a mansion, and paid for a renovation of it as well, so to come back to my initial talk about houses and loans, they have to pay the loan every month now. They are newly weds as well, so I guess they think about having children. This will add uncertainty and stress to their life. Of course, it will give them the pleasure to decorate their own house, live in the place they own, and when they have children, enjoy the time spent with their cute little baby. But as mentioned earlier, you cannot go back, well if you want to do things well at least.
I do hope things go well for them, as they are nice and deserve to be happy. To relativize things a bunch, their situation is typical not only in Japan, but worldwide now. The system is created so that most people won't be able to go out of it, can't go out of it or in cases don't want to go out of it. And a few privileged pricks control this system and abuse of it. (yes, I know, calm down.. lol) I need to meditate more.

June 16

When we had our last fight, I asked my wife to try reading my daily blog so that she might understand better how I think and feel. While I don't plan on hiding anything here, as I do know that she read it now, I still need to take her point of view in mind when writing now.
Yesterday, I was having difficulties keeping my calm as, when we are both at home, we are in the same room, when working or studying. I understand the fact that everyone has its habits regarding to light, sound, etc... Sometimes you want no sound at all, sometimes some calm background music, sometimes you just want to listen to songs that inspire you, sometimes you might want to sing, etc...
As we both want to try working mostly from home, we need to find a way so we don't step on each others.. Lately, and it's natural, when we're both at home, as it feels like "holiday", my efficiency on study and work on my project has decreased a lot : I tended to do longer naps. We all need some time to be able to focus when doing some work : we cannot instantly be 100% focused on something, and having this focus broken resets this procedure.
I do understand and pity (in some way) the parents of young children. The children, often, need and crave for attention, whatever the place or time. They don't care about the societal rules, or that their parents might be busy doing something else. It is now, here or never.
And in fact, they are right. They live the present as we should all do, and they are children, who should receive proper attention and care.
So I need to relax more, and if my work or study is interrupted, to fully commit to what interrupted me. We all don't like when the one you're talking to isn't listening or listening halfway. I do that a lot and need to work on it.

June 15

Today we took some measurements as my wife is willing to try my "program" to a better and healthier life. The program consists basically at creating good habits, regarding sleep, exercise, meditation and nutrition, the latest, while essential, is so case by case that it is difficult to address, but some rules, as habits are valid for everyone.
My wife read yesterday's daily blog, and thought my story was funny. It might be the translation to japanese that made it awkward, but she says I have a way to speak or use words which is funny and entertaining.
I did think that those kind of stories, of lived experiences, can be used to emphasize or talk about subjects we would need some knowledge about. As I'm living as a foreigner in Japan, I thought of some tips on things to do or not do here, some differences in the culture that creates some gaps or topics to talk, etc...

June 14

Still a bit more to go!
I found the reason of the issue at work, so I'm quite relieved. We just need to find a solution to it now.
My wife is considering trying my program for healthiness after she resigned from her temporary job. The work doesn't seem to fit her, and stresses her more than should be, and impacts the other days in a bad way : less motivation or energy.
She thinks of trying to work on an Instagram regarding house decorations, houseware and some DIY. She seems to really be into it, so I hope all things go well for her. I'll try to support as much as I can.
I plan on beginning my blog as well. Just need to choose the laptop I'll be working on, and then start. Will do that today if possible.
We starting watching a movie on wife'S turn to choose, an animation movie called Suzume no Tojimari, literally Door closing Suzume. I got sleepy in the middle of it so we stopped watching to go to bed, but it is a road movie of a high school girl who accidently meets an university student whose job is to close gates, from which some evil energy slips and creates earthquakes in its wake. This evil energy cannot be seen by regular humans, and for whatever reason, which will be disclosed near the end of the movie I guess, the girl is able to see it.
It has been a while but I got some sleep paralysis yesterday when going to sleep. My wife near me could wake me up the 2 times it occurred so I broke from it kind of fast, but it still is not a sensation I would recommend to anyone. Yesterday was kind of hot, and we decided to use the air conditionner a bit late maybe. We both were exhausted by the heat. Yesterday, I also went cycling and it was a very hot sunny day, so my arms were also a bit red from the sunlight. Both these reasons made me quite tired, and sleep paralysis frequently occurs during tired states.
Maybe talking about sleep paralysis can be a topic in the blog. I recall that when it first happened to me, I should have been around 22 years old, a student at the university, learning japanese language. At that time, I did use to smoke, and with a good friend of mine, also pot. I do know that smoking weed increases the risks of sleep paralysis, but I had never heard of it before. I did know that around the 20s, symptoms of mental illness start to appear.
My sleep paralysis experience made me see Sadako, from the movie "Ring". I can recall the scene even now as it was at that time. You might want to argue that it was all imagination, but how frightening your brain can make you see things.
Let me describe you the first time I saw her. (Yes, I saw her twice actually...)
But before that, for anyone who hasn't seen the movie, it's a japanese horror movie based a a novel written by Koji Suzuki, which involves an urban legend regarding a mysterious cursed tape, that is said to, after being watched, lead to a phone call and the death of the one watching the tape 7 days later. Sadako had some psychic powers, and was eventually killed, her hatred eventually reaching a video tape, and cursing anyone watching it. She has long black hair covering her face, a white blouse, and has a stare that is the killing move! She also have long unkempt nails, as she was thrown into a well before dying in there.
So to go back to my story, I got home from having fun with my friend at his home, smoking pot and playing video games. It was around 4 PM, I said "hi" to my mom who was in the kitchen near the entrance of hour apartment, in Paris. I was so exhausted, from lack of sleep and the pot, that I went straight to my room, and lied to get some rest. My room was a bit small, sufficient enough to have room for a single bed, and a small desk besides it. The bed was oriented so that when I was sleeping, I could see the door, which I usually didn't close.
So I lie down, close my eyes, and if you have ever been so tired that even sleeping gets difficult, you know how tired I was. And here it started, my eyes opened, and at first I was looking at the ceiling of my room - I was sleeping on my back. It was my first time experiencing sleep paralysis, so what was happening to me was new and disturbing, even now to be honest : as my eyes were open, I thought to myself that I was awake, so usually when you wake up from sleep, you move up to get out of bed. But this wasn't possible, for whatever reason, I could move only my eyes. So with the only movements I could do, I tried looking at my right, where was the wall near my bed, I looked my hands, laying just beneath my body, not moving at all, even when trying hard to move them, my legs and feet, which wouldn't move an inch either, and I finally looked in direction to the door...
And there she was, standing right under the threshold of the door. With her stare. Just like I saw her in the movie, which I had watched a few years prior the incident. But exactly as, not remembered her, vaguely, but as real as you would see someone, when awaken up, 1 meter away from you. And this was the distance separating us. Now it's a bit easier to laugh about it, but when I saw her, I could literally feel my heart stop for a while, from the fright, and I could understand what the people who died in the movie felt when she appeared. I couldn't stare at anything else than her. Time perception got distorted, it felt that we did a staring competition for dozen of minutes.. I finally thought of something : if I was to look somewhere else, would she still be here when I look back to the door?
I get it can be thought as a defensive mechanism, that when you see a threat, you keep the threat in visual so you know what could happen. But in that case, I dreaded this mechanism. So I finally succeeded at looking at the wall on my right. Hopefully, there was only the wall on the right. But in my mind, the threat was still there, a few steps from me, still watching me for sure, and it creates an even more frightening situation, to just feel some presence, or think there is, than actually see it. For whatever reason, it didn't occur to me to try closing my eyes. And when I write the words, I never think about trying to close my eyes. Can we be up to something here? Is there some mechanism that makes our eyes stay open. Anyway, I was even more panicked than before, and move my eyes back to the door.
And there she was, same place at the door. As I recall it now, it could have been even more scarier, she could have moved even closer to me, you know those very close closed up you see in movies - I hope I'm not creating even more scary sleep paralyses incidents for me when saying that..
So she was still there, staring at me, and I imagined she was staring at me all along. I finally begins to think about options : so okay, she is there. What can I do? As she is right up at the door, this path was simply impossible to take. I lived at the 3rd floor, so while it's not the best of the ideas, I could jump and maybe live if I was able to move, but I usually close the window, and I thought that the time to open it, to move the curtains as there were things near the window, making it not easy to reach, I would have been caught by her and killed.
So I kept looking at her, with despair slowly growing inside me. I don't know how long it lasted like that, but it felt like an eternity. At one point, as I couldn't endure it anymore, I just wanted it to end, whatever the means. I tried to call for my mom without success, and I finally gave up, just wanting one thing, for it to end, so in my thoughts, I was begging for her to just kill me.
And my upper body moved up, she wasn't there anymore. I was still profoundly shocked by this experience, and the first thing I wanted to do was get out of this room and go to my mom. Which I did. My mom didn't know that I was smoking weed, and I didn't know how much she knew about those, but to prevent doubts or inquiries, I didn't talk to her about what I saw. When thinking about it, why didn't I don't know. But I thought I was going crazy, and the fear of it or shame maybe made me not tell anyone, at first.
A few weeks pass without incidents, until another day, about the same hour, but on another bedroom. I used to use the small bedroom when my sister wasn't there, but when she was I would use another bedroom. The other bedroom is quite larger, with one single bed and one double bed, which was the old bed of my parents. I went back from the university, and decide to go for a quick nap, on the large bed. The configuration of the room made me be able to see the window, and the door on the opposite side of it so I couldn't see the door from my sleeping position.
I lie down, try to sleep. And my eyes open, again. My mind is quickly on the alert as I cannot move again, and I'm saying to myself, "oh no, not again". I started looking at the ceiling as last time, moved my vision to the left where the wall was, and when looking at the window...
She was there, a bit more far than last time, between my bed and the window.
Having experience helps immensely when having sleep paralysis experiences. And I would say not only for sleep paralysis, but for all things in general.
I was kind of upset with many things on that day, and her apparition, which frightened me, kind of made me even more upset. \ So my mindset quickly switched to "let's end this quickly", and I could broke from it quite fast.
It was the last time I saw her from my sleep paralysis. I don't know if I was scared to be getting crazy, but I didn't try to look for information that much. I think of myself as rational and think with logic first, so seeing Sadako just didn't make any sense. It was just all in my mind, I thought to myself that the movie had disturbed me more than I thought, and that those were merely very frightening nightmares. Or maybe I was going a bit crazy, but that time would tell.
Since then, I didn't have much sleep paralysis, so I kind of forgot a bit about it, though reminders of the movie or things related to this didn't make me comfortable at all. I did try to overcome this by looking at the movie again, actually. In broad daylight, with the sound not too high, and when some family members were in the house in case. This didn't change anything, the movie was still scary, but I could watch it, and didn't have other visions of her, so I thought I just had very bad nightmares.
Maybe a few years after my first sleep paralysis, we had a gathering of friends from the "Classes preparatoires", which are a course a bit more difficult than the standard university, to aim to enter elite engineering schools of France.
We had some drinks at a bar, and at some point, a good friend of mine mentioned something about a phenomenon that got my entire attention. For some people, when they go to sleep, they claim they could see ghosts. He himself had experienced sleep paralysis, but wasn't able to see anything and was a bit disappointed by it. Not yet revealing my experience, I asked him a bit more a bout it.
Sp he called it sleep paralysis, and he had done some searches on it. I did some research about it afterwards also, finally being relieved that I wasn't going crazy. I eventually shared my story and looked for details when back home.
It usually occurs for younger individuals, until the 30s or so. And it occurs in the the transition between wakefulness and sleep, during Rapid Eye Movement sleep (often called REM sleep), when dream occurs. During dreams, we get paralysis to prevent our body to do the actions in the dream. So during sleep paralysis, you get consciousness but your body is still paralyzed.

June 13

I've been quite busy with an issue at work that couldn't be resolved promptly.
We are still investigating ways to be able to work from home with my wife.

June 12

Every month we have a meeting for all the staff, and if the weather is good, as a bicycle company, we have a ride with the members that can participate. Today, the ride led us to the Itami airport, and we could the planes landing off a very near place. It was quite impressive to see such big planes flying right above us. They sure look bigger and scarier the nearer you get to them.
I had the opportunity to chat a bit with some members. As we are all going to be without work in a few months, everyone is a bit tense about the situation. But at the same time, everyone's reaction is different. One of the sales representative has already found his next job, some think that Tokyo would have more opportunities, but want to stay in the region, because of a loan or a bought mansion or house. Even with experience, some job offers still ask for a degree. And finding a new job when already a bit advanced in age isn't easy in our current society.
It is obvious, but the more responsibilities, be it a loan to pay or a family to support, the more the attachment to the society rules. You just don't have the luxury to go pass them.

June 11

Still reading the book from Dale Carnegie "How to win friends & influence people". For my project to work, people need to adhere to it at some point, so even if my intentions might be the purest, if there are no one using it the point is missed. I'm just at the middle of the book, so the rest of it might help clarify even more the path to take to make my project be reached by most people. They will need to find in it a means to make them feel important, genuinely. A login system, a RPG like immersion (a bit paradoxal to have to live your own character in a game, might be fun), personalized features are to be thought of.

June 10

With my wife we both agree that working from home is a comfort we want to achieve, so we are thinking of solutions or means to be able to do so. If we can live comfortably with doings things we do like, and be able to spend more quality time, it's a win-win-win situation. Just saving time on transportation is at least 30 minutes to 2 or more hours a day! Time which usually can't be turned into hobby, study, time with loved ones. But nowadays, if taking the train or the bus, time spent on phones, which can be, if used in a restricted amount, can be thought as a hobby, but which usually is time spent to an unseen addiction.

June 9

It has been some time since our last fight, but we had another yesterday with my wife. Again, my words were badly chosen, and I need to think more of how she would feel when hearing these words. The language barrier doesn't help for sure, but the root cause is that we all have a need to grow, on the body side with exercise and training, on the cognitive side with studying and learning even as adults, on the social side, in relations with other people, and in spiritual side, on matters that connect all of us. And that starts with me. While I think I have made progress since I've started reflecting on things more, the fact that our discussion ultimately led to a fight is a proof of my mistakes and that I still need to learn. Which is good, because it confirms the need for us to always be learning.
The latter is the most difficult, even for me, to work on. While the biological merits of meditation are quite clear as the results of studies, most suggest those are not the goal of meditation. The "awakened" state is what to aim for. There doesn't seem to be any good or better way to attain that, which makes it more difficult for the type of person like me, with a tendency to try to search for the most efficient way to achieve a goal. That said, everyone, as humans (and maybe animals or other living beings) should be able to reach that awakened state. By thinking about it, aren't, on the contrary animals and life beings already in this awakened state? Aren't we, as beings with a more advanced cognitive skills, less prompt to attain this awakened state without effort? There is an expression in French, "abruti heureux", which can be translated as "happy fool". The expression is sarcastic and has a meaning of condescendence toward the person being described as such. But isn't the true meaning of that that cognitive skills and the fact that we have the ability to think are, whether slowing our progress if doing meditation, or plainly preventing us to reach the awakening.
Writers who have claimed to have reached the awakened state refer to it as something you just feel. You just know you are now awakened. But you still need to work on it to stay in that state, and not falling back, pulled under by your thinking.
"The Matrix" is one of my favorite movie. I watched it again with my wife very recently, and it hasn't aged badly at all. For sure, the visual effects cannot be compared to Avengers, but the movie was created even before the 2000s! But what makes it really good is the narrative of it. Of course, a lot of references are known to be that Neo is the savior. Regardless, all of us can attain the awakened state. But some of us won't like this, like Cypher who literally want to go back.
I believe there are different ways to interpret the awakening in the movie.
The first one, and the one described in the movie itself, is to awaken from our current society, of consumption, which eventually lead to the creation of an AI which threatened our own existence, and did to the slavery of human beings. We live in this kind of society now, and have been for some time now. When "The Matrix" was released, this was already the case, thus the theme of the movie. For sure, whether we like it or not, or whether we know it or not, we are living in this overconsumption society now. While I have the chance to live in a peaceful country, to have a roof, food, warm clothes and even the luxury to have hobbies, some on this planet don't, whether because of the political, economical or environmental situation of their country. In a peaceful country, we have the unique chance to be able to reflect on this society. It should become our duty. Greta Thunberg kind of started appearing from nowhere. Her young age and maybe naive speech were laughed at by the medias, comedians, etc... Why? Why are we making fun of people with greater goals. Why are we so stubborn and stuck in this mindless society, that, though all would agree the planet in term of environment, isn't doing well at all, harmed by our own hands, why are we still mocking people who highlight this fact, and raise their voice so that we finally wake up.
We are so selfish and self centered that we can't see the bigger picture. Usually, we cannot even think about our loved ones. We say we do, but no, we don't : we are thinking of ourselves only. But this is where lies the paradox in our lives. What are we supposed to do? If we understand that the society is like this, that it's not going well, and that we should act. How to do that? Acting alone won't have the impact we wish for. Using the tools of our society to reach the most people seem to be the only way, which becomes paradoxal : how to have everyone understand, for example, that SNS are not healthy? Well you need to post on them so everyone can see it. If you don't use those tools now, even if your message is the purest in the world, is the goal to achieve, your message will just be a drop of water in the ocean of ignorance.
The second one would be the awakening, on the "spiritual" way. I don't like this term, because it makes our mind connect to religious believes. Nevertheless, this awakening is not about understanding that our society is going bad, and that we should do something about it. I believe both awakening are necessary, and are a bit intertwined. If you don't take the time to calm down, to take time for yourself, not meaning it in the selfish way, but to reflect on your life, your actions, by meditating, you start to see the society has it is a bit more clearer as well. I like the image of how Neo is able to see the matrix when he becomes the One, so when he has awakened, again. Again is important here. To be able to awaken in the metaphysical way, it feels that you first need to awaken from the physical world, meaning grasping the facts about our current society, of consumption, addictions and unbalance. From there, we can start working on ourselves more. Nowadays, we don't have the time for anything, we say. We are overwhelmed with things to watch, to play, to buy, to do.. Which are all created by the society. I think that the progress of technologies is a good thing, don't get me wrong. Its usage, however, can be detrimental to us. And the latter decades just continue in that way, more and more, faster and faster. At the moment of me writing these lines, Generative AI has been more or less democratized worldwide, but the ultimate goal for now is the creation of General AI, meaning that the AI would be able to do cognitive things at least at the level of humans. Right now, even with only the generative AI, it seems we don't exactly know how they are functioning : we give results when asking for things, but the process itself seems unclear. And this is only generative AI, which, relative to General AI is ridiculously meager in term of possibilities. If at one point, robots are able to think better than us, the question is what differentiate them from us. Isn't it where mindfulness has its role, and should be aimed for, so that in the end, we are using them as a tool, as a means, and not overwhelmed by them.

June 8

I started to read the book "How to win friends & influence people" by Dale Carnegie. The 2nd chapter highlights the fact that to get anybody to do anything, you need to make that person want to do it.
Nowadays, it's so easy to get distracted by the immeasurable number of things to watch, games to play, objects we are made to think we need. So it's not even an option anymore to want to do things for yourself, which doesn't fit in the category of consumption.
To make changes, people need to want to change. It's the direction to go and seek.

June 7

We had a talk with my wife about our near future, as the both of us are in kind of a grey zone regarding work. We both agree that we want to spend more time at home, but we still have our projects and dreams to create a family, live in our own house, etc...
For now, we agreed to test my "Life style" program as I would say, which consists of a compilation of the best practices I collected from different sources that made sense to me. A lot of them, and I would like to thank Andrew Huberman for his really brillant work, comes from his podcasts. When some random people just spread information without evidence, you have the rights, and should! be doubtful and careful. However, science backing ups protocols can be trusted.

June 6

A survey request was sent to all employees, asking questions about how we feel about the company, how we see the changes made, etc... As one of the employees of a site that is being closed for restructuration of the company, I realized, even though I know it's not the good way of thinking and that I should let go, that I do have a bitter feeling about the company.
I understand that this company is just yet another business in our consumption society. The irony and the issues this type of society has created has become quite ridiculous : we produce more food, more clothes, more of almost everything than needed, yet not everyone on this earth has the privilege to be able to eat, or use warm clothes...
This is just about profit, having more, and the saddest part of this is that only a few understand this system so well that they are screwing everyone in plain sight, and they are acclaimed for that!
My disgust for this world has been slowly increasing over the years, and I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say being laid off hasn't added fuel to my thinking. Yet, unfortunately, most of the people are plugged to this system, they don't even see it as an abuse, or they ignore it, the results are the same.
I still hope I can do something to change, even so slightly, the way we are living now. What makes me despair is I just don't know how. 
The fact is this world is as it is now. We have a few years to live in it. So we've got to make choices in this limited time. Do we want to just live in it, using the system as much as possible, regardless of the consequences, of other people, who might be suffering while we taste our caviar on a yacht. Or do we take the suffering path of living in parallel of this society, trying to do things ethically, even helping people, but having to worry about how we are going to pay the rent, the food, the clothes, for our family...
Just as in Matrix, if you're still in the system, you are one of them.
If making use of the system can make it crash, this is also a way to do it, maybe.

June 5

15.8%. The numbers seem to be correct actually. I guess I used the wrong profile when I had numbers that didn't make any sense. Still to persevere to attain my objective of getting under 14%.
A friend joined me doing some bouldering yesterday. We got to talk about various things, especially on the fact that human beings just prefer not doing so called efforts : even though they do understand that, take exercise for example, they should do it and would get healthier, in better shape, more attractive, etc.. they just don't.
However, some people manage to overcome this stillness, so isn't there something here to work on?

June 4

I'm thinking about writing some learning bouts that can be useful to anyone, on subjects that can lead to better health of lifestyle. By discussing it with my wife, I would like the authority to be listened to. It would be a bit like the imposter syndrome when creating a new business. But still, I believe that writing things that don't evolve potentially dangerous behaviors or spending money can't be harmful, and can actually be beneficial to a lot of people who just don't have the knowledge.

June 3

We watched the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" yesterday. We are trying to alternatively choose the movie to watch and this was my wife'S choice. It is a 1946 classic Christmas movie, which morale is that everyone is important. It seems it is inspired from "A Christmas Carol", with the same theme.

June 2

Why is it so difficult to keep focus on doing the good things : eating well, doing exercice, meditating, studying, taking care of others?
One of the main issue is the incalculable number of distractions at our disposal right away : your phone, some ads when on the Internet, television and all the on demand video services, games...
Are our lives supposed to be that blank that we need to distract ourselves that much? Or is there something else we are missing.
The bouldering gym I go to is on the same building as a Pachinko. A Pachinko can be considered as the equivalent of slots in a casino : you exchange money for some small iron balls, that can be used to play and serve as the reward as well. You insert the ball in a machine, and most of the time you lose, and rarely you win.
On Sundays, I go to the Bouldering gym when it opens, around 10AM. The Pachinko opens at the same hour. I'm always amazed at the number of people waiting for its opening.
I'm not in a good place to be judging on people in addictions, but as some food industries continue to poison us with food that damages our health, industries that create addictions willingly are also to blame. And the fact that, because it creates money, and thus taxes for governments, they are allowed, or I would say recommended, is beyond me.
I watched Matrix with my wife yesterday. Not sure how many times I've seen it, but it still is very watchable even now. She had seen it when she was quite young, so she didn't understood much of it at that time. Not that it is the movie the most profound that has ever existed, but it does raise some current questions : what place will AI have in the near future, are our actions correctly matched with what we ought to be a a species? The Agent Smith describes the human race as a virus for this planet : just expand while consuming the resources until they are depleted, then go to another location with resources, repeat. It can be viewed as an easy shortcut, but isn't it not far from the truth?
I'm trying to be positive, and to believe that as a whole, humans are good, that most of us, if possible, want to act so they don't cause harm or disturb. But reality may be that you just need a few "evil men" to just stain the whole race. And there will always be, so the circle will continue, until something with real consequences appears. AI might create this. And at the time signs of this change are revealed and felt by the populations, it might be too late for the unprepared.

June 1

Yesterday, I watched the movie "The Intern" which relates the story of a senior who gets employed as the intern of a new young lady entrepreneur. Despite all the cliche the movie includes, it does highlight the fact that older people are not enough sharing their knowledge, although they usually have the spare time to do so. Maybe something to keep in a corner of my mind. Youngsters would definitely benefit from learning from experienced people rather than just flicking to check the next Tik Tok video.