Prosody + Conversations both support xep-0198, which means they work nicely when the connection breaks. I additionally need:

• web client (http://getkaiwa.com/)
• desktop client (gajim?)
• irc gateway, so I get the benefit of xep-0198 on a mobile too (biobumi)
• xmpp gateway to merge my [email protected] account
• XEP-0198: Stream Management
• XEP-0184: Message Delivery Receipts
• XEP-0280: carbon copy
• XEP-0313: Message Archive Management
• sharing images/videos?
• video/voice calls (web and client)?
• OTR (doesn't depend on the server though)

What domain to use bagra.org or spodeli.org?

Also see:

• is it possible to run on port 443
• is it possible to run it as an onion hidden node (does it even make sense)