Don't ever ask for something w/out explaining why you deserve it
Don't say "have lots of other offers" etc. b/c it makes them like you less
They need to be able to justify hiring you and act on it internally
Understand where they can give and where not
You need to be flexible on "currency" (e.g. base, bonus, city, all fungible, future rewards, give them flexibility)
They need to believe they can get you
You are asking people to go to bat for you internally
These things above are all in tension with each other
Don't negotiate just to negotiate, just to prove something
People often have the sense that negotiation is about convincing the other side, but it's more about understanding what drives them, what they want
Negotiate multiple interests simultaneously, but prioritize more or less important things
"These are more important; I'd hoped to get some movement on these"
Don't "and one more thing... and one more thing... and one more thing"
What's not negotiable today may be tomorrow
They might be able to do more things once you're one of them, once you've joined the company
Closer to a deadline, they may be able to negotiate more
"Okay, I can understand that may be difficult to do. Can you help me to understand why that is?"
"In the past I've seen some companies able to do it and some not."
"Have you ever made that type of change?"
Stay at the table, stay in touch, stay involved
Things they couldn't share before an offer (after an offer, after an offer has been accepted, after start working) might be sharable later
Be preparerd for them to ask things (uncomfortable questions) that I don't want them to ask
"Do you have another offer?"
Don't lie, just be prepared. A confident "No" is okay.
Have a game-plan:
Here's what I need to learn
Here's what I need to ask
When Mike Tyson was asked: "How do you plan against someone who knows everything about you, who has prepared specifically to defeat you?" He answered, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face"
In advance, think about what they might be interested in finding out from me and how I might deal with it
If we make you an offer tomorrow, will you say yes? - another "question I wish they wouldn't ask"
Answer: Can you help me understand where you're going with this? Well if you're asking me if I'm excited aobut this job, that's easy...
You don't have to answer yes or no if you engage in a real conversation about what they're after
Target the Why, why are they asking?
Ignore/downplay ultimatums [24:18]
People don't like ultimatums - "we will never do x"
It's impossible to back away from them without losing face
Instead say "I can see how that might be difficult for you to do (i.e. ignore their words), now let's talk about x, y, and z (i.e. change the subject).
Let them "make it a thing" if it's important
Move out of the way of their "fire" (i.e. deflect, ignore)
Star Trek Next Generation story - Picard on alien planet in front of "fake" court (FWC - maybe in first season with Q?)
Q says, "I'm going to ask you a question and if the first word out of your mouth is not a 'yes' these people will shoot you on the spot"
Picard responds, "Yes, provisionally..."
They are not out to get you/me; they like you/me
Companies don't negotiate; people negotiate
HR person more concerned about precedent
If you're negotiating with your future boss, he/she can go to bat differently than the HR person
Don't over-inflate what one person says or does (they are not the company)
Don't rush to get offers
Offers can come too fast (the presentation was directed at Harvard Business School students, soon to be grads)
Think about the portfolio of opportunities
Resist the temptation to even tell a small lie
These are the people you're going to be working with
In most cases, you can tell the truth and end up in the same place
Important!
Shoot for an 11 out of 10
Imagine person on the other side of the table going back to their office and thinking "I don't want to work with this person"
Instead you need to make them think "I rate this person 11 and want to work with them more"
Needs to be give and take, empathy, "more than before"
If you're thinking about how happy you want to be in life, how well you negotiate your job offer is almost, if not completely, unimportant
What is important? - which job you take, which industry
Never going to have as much opportunity to reflect and try as you have right now (again speaking to HBS soon-grads)
"The first step matters" - the more steps we take, the more difficult it is to change directions
Q&A
Give me an idea of where you can be more flexible
Maybe they've already signaled where they can't be more flexible
Fine, let's explore a little more then
When has there been flexibility like that?
Has there ever been flexibility like that?
If not, where do you tend to be more flexible?
Currencies: Salary, bonus, job, boss, industry, city, sponsorship
Imagine a world where x was possible, what does that world look like?
Can you give me an example of situations where you've done that?
Have you ever done that before under any conditions?
I realize I may not fall into one of these categories, would just like to better understand how the process works
Maybe they under-value you because they don't know what you can do well