Imposter Syndrome brainstorming session - SoCraTesUK/socrates-uk GitHub Wiki

We had a session to talk about Imposter Syndrome and to brainstorm ideas for dealing with it.

What is Imposter Syndrome? It's the feeling that you get when you join a group of people that you look up to and respect a lot whilst being unable to recognise your own accomplishments and persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud". It turns out that a lot of software engineers struggle with it, including a lot of people that I think are brilliant.

We had a short group discussion and then wrote up ideas on sticky notes under two categories:

  • Problems
  • Solutions

The most important theme that came up was the idea looking at "failure" in the right way. Failing at something is a great opportunity to learn and many of us work in teams and organisations that "celebrate" failure. Creating a culture where everyone is encouraged to talk about things that went wrong and the lessons that they learned is incredibly valuable because it helps the whole team to learn and, perhaps even more importantly, it makes everyone in the team aware that it's ok not to be perfect all of the time.

Imposter Syndrome sticky notes

Problems

  • One interaction can ruin the trust
  • How to be vulnerable without appearing weak/incompetent?
  • I worry I will fail so I don't do something. Then I have nothing at all to show.
  • Meritocracy vs traditional hierarchy
  • "Did you think about doing it this way?" <-- passive aggressive pull request comment
  • Receiving non-constructive feedback
  • Applying for jobs
  • Isolations (non-integrations)
  • Being afraid to admit when you made a mistake
  • Not asking questions because you're afraid to be "found out"
  • I fear that improvement only wastes time: -- The fear that you're wasting someone's time asking for help to learn to do something -- ...or spending too long on a task because you're learning how to do it as you go
  • Own expectations for myself are too high
  • Makes you avoid challenging tasks/failure
  • They're praising me but it was just luck

Solutions

  • Clarifying what's expected/what's ok .... setting expectations
  • When you feel Imposter Syndrome, try to get specific feedback to verify/deconstruct your ideas
  • Failure as a positive thing -- Creating a culture that celebrates failure -- Viewing failure/mistake as an opportunity to learn -- Cultivating the growth mindset
  • "You are not your code" - and a problem with your code is not a problem with you
  • Learn that not everyone is perfect and our standards are often unrealistically high -- Learn to express your own weaknesses to make others feel able to do so -- "Every time I talk to people I really admire, I found a subject where I could teach them something" -- Remember that writing great code is hard
  • Rewriting reality -- Look at things from a different perspective -- Cultivate an attitude of compassion towards a difficult/critical person... they might be under a lot of stress -- Talk to yourself like a friend - kind a validating
  • Using pair/mob programming more (as opposed to the longer feedback loop of code review)
  • Mentoring a sponsoring
  • Break down problems into manageable tasks
  • "Being a great programmier is not just about your tech skills"
  • Actively avoid unconscious demotion
  • Remind yourself why you're doing something + your values
  • Help other people by offering specific praise
  • No "feigning surprise"