How To Win Friends and Influence People - KeynesYouDigIt/Knowledge GitHub Wiki

HTWF&IP Dale Carnegie

Fundamental Techniques in Handling people

Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.

  • Al Capone example - people RARELY see themselves as wrong. They are deeply aware of their own context

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

  • incept in the other person a vision of how they can get what they can use what you want to provide/give/sell. incept a vision of what is capable if the other person works with you (combines well with the Canvas Strategy).

Ways to Make People Like You

Why read this book? just watch a dog.

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Smile.

Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Talk in terms of the other persons interests.

Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

How to Win People to You Way of Thinking

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

  • A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
  • How to avoid an argument without pretending you agree? ** Welcome the disagreement ** Distrust your instinctive first impression ** Control your temper ** Listen first ** Look for areas of agreement ** Be honest ** Promise to think over your opponents ideas and study them carefully ** Thank your opponent sincerely for their interest (Would they argue with you if they didnt care about the subject?) ** Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

** Don't be afraid to rest the subject and discuss other things, whatever the other person wants to discuss. ** Start with empathy, not a "BUT" empathy but real empathy confirmed with the other person.

Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "you're wrong".

  • The Quaker that confronted a young Ben Franklin - "If you dont change the fact your always correcting and insulting people, your not likely to know much more than you know now, which isn't all that much."

  • "I judge people by their principles, not my own" MLK

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

  • This incurs instant admiration and sympathy (usually). it disarms people.

Begin in a friendly way.

Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Let the other person feel the idea is theirs.

Try honestly to see things from the other person's POV.

Be sympathetic to the other person's ideas and desires.

Appeal to the nobler motives.

Dramatize your ideas.

Throw down a challenge.

Be A Leader: How to change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Let the other person save face.

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Use encouragement.

Make the fault seem easy to correct

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.