Authentic Leadership - KeynesYouDigIt/Knowledge GitHub Wiki

Goals for Class

Increase your ability to:
- Develop awareness of the inner place from which you operate and modify it
- Enhance your personal power
- Influence others
- Create the results that matter the most to you
- Learn from your own experience. If you don't experience the change, it won't happen.
"Safety first" - Allow yourself and others to take risks with a safety net
- Fear <-- High Performance --> Boredom
- People need challenge, support, and recognition
Validate people, normalize empathy
Put people before strategy
Stress paralyzes critical reasoning
Stress and recovery need to oscillate
Meditation is a way to recover
It's easy to become a "speed addict" and require more input all the time
- Schedule times for things
- Quiet your lower brain with simple tasks
Dopamine activates learning centers
A question is less combative and more supportive than a statement
- Don't embed suggestions
- Open their arc of possibilities
Build your muscles for big decisions by learning how to be intentional about small ones
The things you are spiritual about are what's important to you
An threshold level of IQ is required for high-performance, after that EQ is twice as important. IQ won't make you a star.
Mindfulness is not getting lost in your own storyline
Self-criticism keeps us socially safe
Matter doesn't change history, belief does. External reality is not a prison. We are not the victims of the world, we are its co-creators. The spiritual world is reality.
Spiritual journeys are inward, not out and abstract.
Don't deprive others of their identities. This comes from insecurity.
Life isn't fundamentally hostile, or a battleground. It can be cooperative.
Functional Atheism = "I need to do everything myself"
- Instead of co-creation, empowering others and being empowered
Fear displays itself as rules, chaos elimination, procedures
Be more loyal to your dreams than your fears.
Yes/no questions are combative.
Follow what you feel. Where are you being pulled?
Management is working with change, leadership is working with complexity.
Change results from dissatisfaction
Doorbell moments indicate that autopilot isn't good enough.
It's not your job to compare yourself.
Find the wholeness that's already within you.
Increase your self-awareness and reflect.
Strive for wholeness over perfection ("Self-improvement"/doubt/criticism vs. self-compassion/love)

Types of power:

Personal power
Relational power
Knowledge power
Positional power

"Managing for finacial results, then, begins with the leader managing his inner life so that the right emotional and behavioral chain reaction occurs."

Human Performance Pyramid

Energy is the capacity to do work.

	Capacity	Refreshed By
Peak	Spiritual	Reflection
	Mental	Meditation
	Emotional	Relaxation & warm relations
Base	Physical	Exercise & Rest

Results

A result is a function of internal and external factors.

External - "Not my fault" vs. "I'm responsible for my choices"
Internal - "I'm impotent" vs. "I can influence outcomes"

Victim Stance	Generative Stance
"What happened to you?"	"What challenge did you face?"
"Who wronged you?"	"How did you choose to respond?"
"How did they hurt you?"	"What are the consequences of your choices"
"What should they have done?"	"Could you have done something more effective? Could you do something now?"
"What punishment do they deserve?"	"What lessons can you take away?"

Ego

Your ego is always trying to keep you safe, it's just not always very effective. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you care about.

Your self-worth is the determinant of your well-being. If you get yours from being special or above-average, you're on shakey ground.

"I can and should be different than I am"

Can you pin your self-worth to that? No.
You're fighting yourself, which engages your ego sentry
Shunning an undesireable quality keeps you from growing

Serves these functions:

Executive
Sentry (Uh oh! Creates shadow. Can you get it to put down the gun?)
Mediator
Maintains your patterns
Sense of self (Is self-worth found through being special or above-average? Uh oh! Unwinnable. Those with a deep sense of worthiness are vulnerable and authentic.)
Symbol

The difference between a level 4 and a level 5 manager is a mature ego. Ego grows from dependence to independence to interdependence.

Bad Ego	Good Ego
Knower / judger	Observer / learner
Defensive routines	Defects are treasures
Fears being wrong	Acknowledges ignorance
	Self-esteem is rooted in the long-term

Do you actually have strength, or do you manipulate others' perception of you? A strong sense of self prevents you from being manipulated.

Shadows

Your shadow is things that you hide about yourself. Your light shadow is the goodness in you that you hide. Your dark shadow is the things you secretly hate about yourself. Crusaders are often trying to ferret out their dark shadow in others. Shadows are native to humans, but they are not allowed by the social structure. We push the things that make us whole (good or bad) into the shadow.

Are you never a negative thing? You might benefit from having a little more greed, rudeness, lust, etc. Integrate your shadow- accept who you are instead of hiding it.

Culture

Culture is an organizational glue. It's a primary source of conflict in relationships. Limits the range of what's possible. It's the most enduring part of an organization, and the thing that's the most difficult to change. It's why new ideas have a hard time winning. Destroying unhealthy cultures is just as important as creating healthy ones. A leader's daily action embeds culture- what they pay attention to, what their reactions are, and what their perceived criteria for success are. Culture is a filter on information coming in. The past got you to where you are. Culture is the shared assumptions (beliefs) that a group of people learned worked in the past and are taught to new members (the "rules for success"). Leadership is the creation, management, and destruction of culture. Your mood is contagious- you set the culture with your attitude. People mirror each other.

Culture Styles

Style	What it's about	Where it comes from	Who manages it
Control	Power	Military	Structure
Collaboration	Affiliation	Sports	Integrator
Competence	Achievement	College	Excellor
Cultivation	Growth	Religion	Developer

Culture Types

Generative
- Moving from indepence to interdependence requires self-referenced egos
Sustainable
Disfunctional
Toxic - "I will destroy you"

Levels of Culture

Artifacts (visible structures & processes)
Espoused values
Underlying assumptions

Growing a Culture

Identify the gap between the present and the vision
Surface the beliefs that create that gap
Create opportunities to grow in new ways
Make learning visible
Consolidate and integrate the old and new

Learning

A plan is just a tool, not a commitment. A change isn't complete until it becomes a part of your self-concept (for yourself and how others view you).

Learning happens through failure- defensive reasoning blocks learning, and criticizing the outside protects your ego. You learn best when you're feeling positive emotions.

Your ego's fear-based, defensive goals are:

Remain in unilateral control
Maximize wins and suppress losses
Supress negative feelings
Be rational - Define and achieve goals

What do I want to achieve?
How will I know when I get there?
Plan-Do-Check-Act

Conversations

3 levels to every conversation:

Task -
- Victim stance can either improve or hurt this, generative stance improves it.
Relationship - Did you improve the relationship? This is the source of power in conversations.
- Both victim stance and generative stance improve this, because complaining is a fast way to build a relationship.
Self - Did you bring your best self? Did you help the other person bring their best selves?
- Victim stance hurts this, generative stance improves it.

In effective communication, task/relationship/self all go up. It's grounded in honesty, win-win-win, and respect. You need to set aside your habit of judgment.

Listening requires:

Downloading
Factual listening (Open mind vs. Judgment)
Empathic listening (Open heart vs. Cynicism)
Generative listening (Open will vs. Fear)

Conflict Management

Effective crisis and conflict management can lead to a stronger relationship than before. If you want influence, you have to willing to be influenced. You can increase the liklihood of success by enlarging the arc of possibility by creating new thoughts and reducing fear-based competition.

Conflicts require:

A disagreement
Scarcity (either operational or emotional)
Disputed "property rights"

An "honorable complaint" can improve the task, relationship and the self. Don't let your partner cave in.

Asking for an honorable apology:

State the breakdown
Get their story
State your damage
Request restitution
Design how to work better in the future

When you sense a conflict:

Circuit break (3 deep breaths). Decide:
- What do I want for me (what benefit do I hope to get)?
- What do I want for you?
- What do I want for us?
Move from your differing position (reactive) to your shared interest (core truth). Make an invitation based on core truth.
- Public truth (what people think is acceptable)-> Reactive truth (what they actually think right now) -> Core truth (your true belief)
Be inquisitive and search for a win/win
- Hold your beliefs as opinions, temporarily
- Make your thinking visible
- Inquire and advocate
  - The facts
  - Your opinions
  - Your reasoning
  - The standard you hope will result
  - The implications of that

High inquiry and high advocacy result in a win/win. The consequences of win/lose negotiation are fight or flight:

Fight

Controlling
Labeling
Attacking

Flight

Masking
Avoidance
Withdrawing

Motivation

"Should" is a doorbell word. Work that you don't want to do has to align with a value you have. It's impossible to motivate someone else- you have to align their values with your goals. Extrinsic motivation narrows thinking and dulls creativity.

Change

The key to sustainable change is to follow the path of least resistance. This may require scaling back and building momentum. You need to uncover everyone's hidden commitments (which can be positive or negative).

You need to make a strong connection to your sense of purpose to change ("Values-based adaption"). This is how pregnant women are able to instantly quit smoking.

Fear-based behavior is likely to create the situation you most fear.

What was your thought or fear?
How did you act when you believed that?
How would you act if you didn't believe that?
Is there something that could be as true or truer?

(Dissatisfaction w/ perception of the present) + (desire for imagined benefits) - resistance = energy available for change. Don't increase motivation, reduce resistance. Overpowering resistance fights yourself. To lower resistance, don't change your thought (you can't), but change your filter. Look for competing commitments, and challenge the underlying assumptions. You can't push someone forward until they've let go. All change involves letting go and loss. Coping with change means accepting your feelings, managing your stress, and taking the generative stance.

Sustaining a change requires an ecosystem of support.

Organizational change requires:

Initiation (urgency, building a coalition, creating a vision, coming up with a strategy, communicating it)
Engagement (creating a learning process, empowering others, looking for short-term wins)
Integration (consolidating improvements, institutionalizing the change)

Moments of Choice

Noticing moments of choice is exhausting - it's a "new program to run." It can impact your ability to make other decisions. It can be frustrating, which can reinforce the old behavior.

Commitments

A commitment is the act of binding yourself to a course of action.

If someone can't say "no", a request is really a command.

Leadership

Leadership is lifting people's vision, raising their performance, and building their personality-- and then making it last in your absence. Leadership lasts when you leave. Leadership is the capacity to shift and focus collective attention. Leadership is the power to co-create the future. It makes people think "we did it!" Demonstrate your character, competence, influence. You need people to take initiative. Leaders project their shadow or their light. Lack of inner control creates danger. Extroverts and manipulators of the external world sometimes lack internal awareness. Quality and leadership are always in the important/not urgent quadrant. Your personal competencies are your leadership blindspot. Leadership is a lifelong journey. Lead from your strengths, don't worry so much about your weaknesses. Daily leadership: Perception + vision + choice + core values + actions + external factors = results.

Good leadership includes:

Personal competencies (generativity, a self-referenced ego, self-compassion)
Interpersonal competencies (communication, delegation)
Business competencies (vision, resource management)

Myth	Reality
Freedom	Interdependence
Authority	Needing to build trust
Control	Commitment
1 to 1	Creating culture
Ensure a smooth operation	Enhance performance

Ineffective leaders lack	Symptom
Flexibility	Can't adapt style
Bonding	Alienate others
Self-control	Outbursts
Responsibility	Defensiveness
Trustworthiness	Only out for themselves
Social skills	Arrogant, no empathy
Respect & cooperation	Try to homogenize groups

Integral Theory

	Blind Spot	Interior	Exterior
Individual	Beliefs (filters)	Intention (influences behavior)	Behavior
Collective	Beliefs (filters)	Culture (influences intention)	Social Systems (influence intention)

Management

Create the conditions for your success. Ask your boss for help. Manage people as if they're volunteers- knowledge workers have lots of mobility. Personal issues aren't the same as private issues.

Biology

Part of the brain	Responsible for	Notes
Reptillian	Instinct	Vital functions, pure individuality
Limbic (mammalian)	Emotion	Judgment, importance, interdependence
Neocortex	Thought

For routine environments, stimuli is process through the Neocortex. Fear and stress bypass the Neocortex and go right for your limbic system (an "Amygdala hijack"). 3 deep breaths is a "circuit breaker" for fear. A thought is a neural firing pattern- a belief is a well-trod pattern. Self-comforting releases oxytocin.

Emotions

Swallowing a negative emotion concentrates it. Don't invalidate emotions- they aren't right or wrong, they are just happening. Any emotion is the right one given the filter. Challenge the thought, examine the thought, validate the emotion.

Facts ---> Thoughts (Beliefs, could be wrong) ---> Emotions (Never wrong)

Choose to build a new neural pathway. What's another possible reality? Then replace the original thought with the new one. Beliefs are filters for new facts.

Get bigger than emotions- go from "I am angry" to "I am feeling angry."

What's my current story?

What are the facts (don't change these!)
What are some alternate realities based on these facts?
What's one of those that I could believe that would make me feel better?

Choose to have a more positive experience of your life. Your internal voice of judgment is 10:1 negative to positive.

Don't get rid of emotions. They're required for preferences and choice. When emotions turn into negative thoughts instead of action, you enter the lethargy cycle. Negative mindsets come from no concrete reason. You have control over your emotions. Emotions aren't the same thing as opinions. Vulnerability is important, it's what makes you beautiful. You can't selectively numb emotions.

3 times a day, practice self-compassion (self-kindness, acknowledging your common humanity, and practicing mindfulness [discerning if something is true]). Question what things are doing for your life experience. Walk in and explore your emotions instead of moving away from them. Self-soothe before taking action. Counter a specific negative with a specific positive, and a general negative with a general positive.

The 8 Basic Emotions

Emotions are your body's calls to action.

Pain (Loss)	Call to Action
Sadness	Grieve
Fear	Protect yourself
Anger	Reestablish boundaries
Guilt	Make amends

Pleasure (Gain)	Call to Action
Joy	Celebrate
Anxiety	Increase the chances of success
Pride	Self-celebrate
Gratitude	Recognize others

Managing Your Emotions

Take 3 deep breaths to short-circuit your limbic system and put your neocortex back in control
Find the thought, acknowledge the emotion
Challenge the thought- is it real?
If yes, follow its call to action. If not, clean up your thinking.

Personal Mastery

Clarify what's important to you. Your core identity is your mission + your core values. Listen to your emotions. Listening (non-control) isn't thinking (control). You may be listening to God's voice, a higher self, your inner being, or your soul.

Your personal vision is a desired state at particular point in time. It's a result, not a process. It should have success criteria. It's not what you don't want. What does your life want to do with you? Your peak experiences (highs and lows) are reflections of your values. Naming the thing you want gives you "eyes" to see the solution.

Your purpose or mission is your reason for being. Detect it, don't invent it. Focus on the outcome, not the gap between here and there.

When do you feel like you're "on purpose"?
What do you live for?
When are you most alive?
What makes you say "Yes!" even when you've done it for the 1000th time?
What frustrates you?

Acknowledge and accept your demons, with love. They're a part of you too.

Where do you invest your energy? The important/not-urgent quadrant is about personal mastery.