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Let’s talk about thongs—the underwear that somehow manages to be everywhere while still sparking heated debates at brunch. Some people swear by them, others think they’re the devil’s floss, and honestly? Both sides have valid points. Thongs are the Goldilocks of underwear—more coverage than a G-string, less than a bikini, and just enough fabric to (maybe) keep things comfortable. They’re the ultimate solution for "I want no panty lines, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m wearing dental floss." Whether you’re a die-hard thong fan or a skeptic, let’s break down what makes them so controversial—and why they’ve stuck around for decades.

Table of Contents

History

Thongs feel like a modern invention, but they’ve been around way longer than low-rise jeans and Y2K fashion.

  • Ancient Times: Early versions existed in indigenous cultures (like the loincloths of Native Americans and African tribes). Minimal coverage for maximum movement.
  • 1939: The modern thong as we know it was supposedly invented by New York Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia (yes, really) to avoid nudity in burlesque shows.
  • 1970s-80s: Brazilian swimwear popularized the high-cut, barely-there style, which eventually bled into underwear.
  • 1990s-2000s: Thongs became a huge trend thanks to celebrities like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton flashing theirs (often accidentally).
Fun fact: The word "thong" comes from Old English þwong, meaning "a narrow strip of leather." Which… tracks.

Overview

At its core, a thong is underwear with a narrow strip of fabric in the back, just enough to cover what needs covering while eliminating visible panty lines. The front is usually a normal underwear shape (because, you know, functionality), but the back is where things get… minimal. Unlike a G-string (which is basically just a string back there), a thong has a slightly wider strip of fabric—think of it as the more practical cousin. Still, it’s not for the faint of heart.

Confusion

Wait, Is It "Thong" or "Thongs"? Depends on where you’re from! In the U.S., it’s "a thong." In Australia, "thongs" are flip-flops (which, honestly, makes more sense). So if an Aussie says they hate thongs, they might just mean sandals, not underwear.

Advantages

If you’ve never tried one, you might wonder—why would anyone put up with this? But thong lovers have their reasons:

1. Bye-Bye, Panty Lines (VPL is the Enemy)
Tight pants? Bodycon dress? Thongs are the MVP of no-show underwear. No awkward seams ruining your silhouette.
2. They Can Actually Be Comfortable (For Some People)
Shocking, but true! Once you get used to them, some folks forget they’re even wearing one. The key? The right fit and fabric.
3. They Make You Feel Secretly Hot
There’s something about a thong that just feels… cool. Like you’ve got a little secret under your jeans.
4. Better Than Going Commando
Want the "no underwear" look without actually going commando? Thongs are the compromise.

Drawbacks

Now, let’s be real—thongs aren’t all sunshine and seamless outfits.

1. The Dreaded "Butt Floss" Feeling
If you’ve ever walked 10 steps and then had to discreetly adjust yourself… you know. A bad thong feels like a perpetual wedgie.
2. Not Always the Healthiest Choice
Less fabric = less breathability. For people prone to irritation or infections, thongs might not be the best daily pick.
3. The Learning Curve
Not all thongs are created equal. A poorly designed one is basically a torture device.

Comparison

People mix these up, but they’re not the same:

  • Thong: Thin back strap, but still some fabric.
  • G-String: Literally just a string. That’s it.
Think of it like coffee—thongs are a latte, G-strings are an espresso shot.

Considerations

If you’re gonna try one, here’s how to survive:

  • Size up if needed – Too tight = instant regret.
  • Fabric matters – Cotton or microfiber > scratchy lace.
  • Save them for the right outfits – Maybe not for a 12-hour flight.
  • Moisturize if necessary – Less fabric = more friction potential.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, thongs are like cilantro—you either love ’em or hate ’em. There’s no right answer, just personal preference. If you’ve never tried one, grab a basic cotton thong and see how it goes. Worst case? You confirm they’re not for you. Best case? You find your new wardrobe secret weapon. Either way, wear what makes you feel good—whether that’s a thong, granny panties, or nothing at all. Underwear rules are made to be broken.

See also

References

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