Intro

[Subtitles: 22 Hours after the death pebble incident...]

Acktana: Star-Lotti! We have received a wide-range emergency broadcast. It Identifies the ship as the long-lost USS Patchnotes.

Star Lotti: Patch it through.

Acktana: Patching through...

Unknown Voice: MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY

THIS IS USS PATCHNOTES, USS PATCHNOTES, USS PATCHNOTES

CALL SIGN ACKPATCH

MAYDAY

USS PATCHNOTES CALL SIGN ACKPATCH,

POSITION 42, 69, 1024 AT 0745 HOURS, 17TH OCTOBER 2015

WE HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY A UNITY UNION BATTLECRUISER AND HAVE BEEN BOARDED

IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE REQUIRED

WE HAVE 29 SOULS REMAINING ABOARD AS OF TIME OF THIS MESSAGE

OVER

Acktana: Message repeats every 2 Minutes.

Star-Lotti: That distress signal dates back 3 years! About the time the Patchnotes vanished... Ideas?

Acktana: Acknation Galactic Laws require us to answer any-

Star Lotti: ...friendly distress call, yes, yes... Fine. Set a course.

Acktana: As you command.

[Subtitles: 3 Hours later...]

[Camera does a flyby of the shipname on the exterior]

Star Lotti: It really is her... the USS Patchnotes... What a sight...

Acktana: Sensors indicate heavy damage to internal systems and signs of boarding. Ship not responding to hails. No sign of the enemy.

Star Lotti: No reason for them to stick around after all this time... take us in. I want to take a look around inside.

Acktana: Commencing docking procedure.

[Fade to black]

Part 1

Acktana: Docking procedure complete.

[Fade in, in the airlock, game starts, following dialog happens in-game]

Acktana: Preliminary scans reveal that the ship seems to be running on emergency power.

Star lotti: Can we fix it?

Acktana: Main ship system power is generated by the ship engines. Turning them back on would restore power to most systems.

Star Lotti: Alright, Let's code, motherfucker.

{after finding battery:}

Acktana: Analysis of this battery reveals that it should have enough power to jumpstart the ion-containment field in order to restart the engine poston-field generator.

Star lotti: In other words: Stick it into the engine and press the big red button?

Acktana: Yes, that would be another way to say it. You imbecile.

Part 2

{Insert battery into engine}

Star Lotti: I've got the power! Acktana, how's it lookin'?

Acktana: That seems to have done it. Main power is coming back online... Connecting to ship information system, stand by.... Power is go. Engines are go. Lavatories are go. Life support is go. Gravity generators are online. Server systems are offline.

Star lotti: That's strange, why are the servers offline?

Acktana: System information shows that the servers are powered independently. There seems to be a higher power draw than usual. It would be impossible to know why, until I get a good look at the servers.

Star lotti: Let's get you there then!

Acktana: Powering up the generators seems to have opened up some additional doors. That should help. . . . . You're welcome.

{Finding the Flamethrower}

Star Lotti: This should help with the frozen door.

{Finding Jetpackl/Jumpboots}

Acktana: This is a prototype Silverman-Stolipin Gravity Assist module!

Star Lotti: What's it do?

Acktana: Perform a mid-air jump

Star Lotti: So... double jumping?

Acktana: Yes, "double jumping".

Part 3

{Server room enter first time}

Acktana: There's the terminal there at the end. Get me there and I'll take look.

{Server use first time}

Acktana: Connecting... [modem sounds] It seems that the Patchnotes was working on digitization prior to the incident, and when it arrived they uploaded the crew into the computer to escape the Unity Union boarding party. Power requirements for the system increased exponentially with this many people. The system is running on a low power mode. Until we can get it back up, I can't get you any more information.

Star lotti: Start the generator and talk to the computer people, got it.

Part 4

{Power core boot}

Acktana: Power core output stable at 1.21 Gigawatts. Servers are resuming operation now. Take me back.

Star lotti: You got it babe.

{Server terminal}

Acktana: [Modem sounds] .... This is terrible. Apparently immediately after uploading themselves, they got attacked by a computer virus by the Unity union. They deployed countermeasures.... something called the... Guardian System? It defeated the Unity Union Virus, but it also trapped them in nullpointer space.

Star Lotti: Anything we can do?

Acktana: Jack in, turn off the Guardian and jack out?

Star lotti: Alright! Let's jack in, kill that jack-off and jack out!